May last night be a monument in my life! This is a powerful testimony that I'm blessed and encouraged to write. Please read it and rejoice with me in the power of Christ!
Last night we met with some good friends at the church. The topic wasn't necessarily clear, nor was there immediate resolve. However, my sister in Christ looked at me right before we dismissed and said, "There's something welling up in you. You have some bitterness, and the Lord wants to deal with it." I agreed because we had prayed before the meeting, believing that God would bring out what needed to be brought out. It felt hard to hear, but I assumed the Lord must have given her that impression. I reflected on it prayerfully on the way home.
Earlier in the day I felt the Lord telling me I had some bitterness, so what happened last night only confirmed it. I confessed my bitterness over the phone to a pastor and agreed to spend some time in prayer with Natasha about it. I prayed by myself and also found some written prayers. The Lord led me into a long prayer of confession, followed by a prayer of forgiveness and release for my immediate bitterness. This was all good.
Then the Lord showed me a prayer for forgiveness of my parents in the prayer book. I decided to go through it. It became very emotional for me, but it was spiritually freeing, to say the least! I never imagined that halfway through the prayer I would end up being delivered of some major bitterness toward my family, but that's how God works. He is so good to uncover things that would otherwise threaten relationships among our family and between God and me! His faithfulness is a huge blessing! I'm sure the Lord has more work to do, but I want to establish what happened last night as a memorial in my spiritual journey. Regardless of what else the Lord brings me through, even with my family, I stand firmly in the strong freedom of Christ, released from bitterness and having released my family (and friend) from my control. Praise the Lord!
30 October 2006
27 October 2006
Some Things
1) Psalm 22 changed my outlook on the Lord this week. I want to post my entire exegesis on it, but that would be too long. Let's just say that Jesus makes a lot more sense, as do David and the Father. Praise Him!! His answers are so perfect and beyond us, even when we think He's answering our immediate need.
2) Our car needs replaced. Lord, let it happen soon! (This will be a miracle, but I assume that's on its way.)
3) You must check this out. Heather sent it to me, and I'm very happy she did. It's a great symposium of much of my life. (Note: For those who are used to my piety, please know that this is extremely lighthearted.)
4) Alex wants me to register to vote. I'm all about that. But he wants me to register Republican. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. If I'm Republican, that means letting go of a lot of things. So would being Democrat. Since few people take Independents seriously, I'm in a bit of a quandary. If you have intelligent things to offer (not ignorance, slander, libel, or spiritual judgmentalism), I'd welcome the wisdom.
5) Did you check this out yet? I wasn't kidding. Very good.
2) Our car needs replaced. Lord, let it happen soon! (This will be a miracle, but I assume that's on its way.)
3) You must check this out. Heather sent it to me, and I'm very happy she did. It's a great symposium of much of my life. (Note: For those who are used to my piety, please know that this is extremely lighthearted.)
4) Alex wants me to register to vote. I'm all about that. But he wants me to register Republican. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. If I'm Republican, that means letting go of a lot of things. So would being Democrat. Since few people take Independents seriously, I'm in a bit of a quandary. If you have intelligent things to offer (not ignorance, slander, libel, or spiritual judgmentalism), I'd welcome the wisdom.
5) Did you check this out yet? I wasn't kidding. Very good.
19 October 2006
International
Sometimes it's strange to think about international families. Natasha and I will most likely have to move before Christmas so that we have time with the Erskines/Bennetts in Delaware before we're officially on at IBC for January 2. We've been looking into flights and whatnot for that, realizing that a flight from Halifax to Baltimore really is international. We've also been dealing with Natasha's financial aid and have to drive to Perth-Andover or Woodstock tomorrow as a result. The US and Canada don't usually feel international. If it weren't for the customs station, the road in front of our house would continue east and drop us in Perth-Andover after awhile. When we fly down at Christmas, we're going to follow the same coast. The political boundaries aren't visible in the air. It all looks like one piece of land. You don't even realize you're not looking at Canada anymore until Boston comes into view from the air. Is it strange that it doesn't feel international? What does this communicate, if anything, about the identities of our countries?
(Note: There will be something new on our food blog soon. We're not home enough to cook, which is sad. However, breakfast this morning was startlingly good.)
(Note: There will be something new on our food blog soon. We're not home enough to cook, which is sad. However, breakfast this morning was startlingly good.)
15 October 2006
Marriage Free from Self-Defense
Our lives don't leave much blogging time lately, but I would say I'm MUCH more of a Blogger than a MySpacer. I've appreciated MySpace for its quick and easy connection to friends I haven't seen or heard from in YEARS. However, I could never get over the ads that I find on everyone's sites. I have told few people about my MySpace because I'm not proud of the ads. (In fact, I joined just to stay in moderate contact with my brother.) I e-mailed the imfamous "Tom" about the singles ads, but I never heard back. I could find no way to block them. Then it happened.
One night when I had just submitted a message, a confirmation page came up, on which was displayed a singles ad. Natasha walked in the room and asked, "What in the world are you looking at?" I told her I was on MySpace and explained the advertisement situation. She said she trusted me, and we were fine.
That really ate at me. My wife trusts me a lot. A whole lot. She loves me unconditionally. Yet, she came in the room when an ad from my own website was showing, and she wondered if that were about to unravel. Why do I want to give my wife any reason to suspect me, even if that comes through a seemingly innocent site? How innocent is a site that allures people to looking at covered women, only to tempt them to go the next step, then the next, then the next? Why am I hosting a website with images I don't condone and won't send people to see? Why do I want to remain part of a site that is likely to reproduce the scenario above the next time Natasha walks in the room and sees an ad she's not seen before? I have a marriage free of self-defense. We are, in a sense, naked and unashamed before each other. I have no desire to see that destroyed.
Moral: I'm leaving MySpace as soon as the bulletin I just sent reaches all of my friends (or within 72 hours, whichever I feel like doing at the time).
One night when I had just submitted a message, a confirmation page came up, on which was displayed a singles ad. Natasha walked in the room and asked, "What in the world are you looking at?" I told her I was on MySpace and explained the advertisement situation. She said she trusted me, and we were fine.
That really ate at me. My wife trusts me a lot. A whole lot. She loves me unconditionally. Yet, she came in the room when an ad from my own website was showing, and she wondered if that were about to unravel. Why do I want to give my wife any reason to suspect me, even if that comes through a seemingly innocent site? How innocent is a site that allures people to looking at covered women, only to tempt them to go the next step, then the next, then the next? Why am I hosting a website with images I don't condone and won't send people to see? Why do I want to remain part of a site that is likely to reproduce the scenario above the next time Natasha walks in the room and sees an ad she's not seen before? I have a marriage free of self-defense. We are, in a sense, naked and unashamed before each other. I have no desire to see that destroyed.
Moral: I'm leaving MySpace as soon as the bulletin I just sent reaches all of my friends (or within 72 hours, whichever I feel like doing at the time).
13 October 2006
Catching Up
If you haven't caught up with us in awhile (or maybe even if you have), here's something new for you: Natasha and I are moving to Truro, Nova Scotia. We have been in contact with Immanuel Baptist for several weeks, feeling the obvious hand of God on us for most of that time. The Lord is leading us back into worship ministry, as we wondered if He was doing back when Moe came to town (see post from last March). There are so many unknowns here, but the One we know overcomes all that. Please pray with us for that transition; we are meant to begin on January 2, 2007. These are EXTREMELY exciting times!!
11 October 2006
Testimonies
There are way too many testimonies to write in one blog when I'm already too tired to be awake. It's just that I'm too humbly blessed not to blog right now! I miss blogging, and I miss the blogging community, but there is so much going on right now! I'll put a few things:
1) In addition to receiving occasional songs from the Lord, I've had a lot of opportunity to do prophetic worship lately. It's been a blessing I never expected to receive!
2) The men's prayer summit was earth-shattering for me. Among other things, I spilled my entire life story to several men (even the dark, dirty stuff), believed someone for the first time when they said they loved me, prayed over many men, was prayed over by many men, received more rhema word from the Lord than ever before, etc., etc., etc.
3) The Lord has given me a new glimpse of His plan for me. More on that when I've actually communicated personally with some people close to me who don't blog. (You know, I just don't want my blogging friends to tell my family or close friends about the biggest things in my life.) No, we're not pregnant.
4) I'm just different. I know it. I mean, I'm the same, but I'm really not. It's incredible. Please, with everything in you, chase after Jesus with everything in you. Don't give up because you're tired. Don't give up because you hear the enemy of your soul roaring. Jesus is so powerful, loving, caring, challenging, and perfect. He's transparent and humble. He's welcoming and personal. He's great and mighty. He's more than all these things, and you know you want to know Him. Don't judge Him by me or by any other person who says they know Him. Get to know Him very well and go from there.
1) In addition to receiving occasional songs from the Lord, I've had a lot of opportunity to do prophetic worship lately. It's been a blessing I never expected to receive!
2) The men's prayer summit was earth-shattering for me. Among other things, I spilled my entire life story to several men (even the dark, dirty stuff), believed someone for the first time when they said they loved me, prayed over many men, was prayed over by many men, received more rhema word from the Lord than ever before, etc., etc., etc.
3) The Lord has given me a new glimpse of His plan for me. More on that when I've actually communicated personally with some people close to me who don't blog. (You know, I just don't want my blogging friends to tell my family or close friends about the biggest things in my life.) No, we're not pregnant.
4) I'm just different. I know it. I mean, I'm the same, but I'm really not. It's incredible. Please, with everything in you, chase after Jesus with everything in you. Don't give up because you're tired. Don't give up because you hear the enemy of your soul roaring. Jesus is so powerful, loving, caring, challenging, and perfect. He's transparent and humble. He's welcoming and personal. He's great and mighty. He's more than all these things, and you know you want to know Him. Don't judge Him by me or by any other person who says they know Him. Get to know Him very well and go from there.
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