Survival Mode

I am rarely intimidated. Even when I feel intimidated I am not easily bent out of shape. Today feels a little bit different to me, though. Today I am intimidated.

When I look at my life in the next fifteen weeks I see Intimidation personified in my mind. It stands before me in my mind's eye wearing a black suit, a white shirt, and a black tie. Its shoes are shiny and reflective. Of course I notice the shoes because I can't look Intimidation in the eye. If I did, I would be horrified. Eyes, a window to the soul, would simply be dark spaces an the otherwise expressionless face of soul-less intimidation. So, there I stand, staring at the shoes, watching my reflection stare back at me. I've tried looking up, but Intimidation blocks the way, so I can't see past it very well. So, I look back in the shoes.

Funny, though, how the picture changes as I stare. The longer I stare into the shiny shoes, the clearer things become. I am almost resigned to entering survival mode when I notice something bright behind me. It is the reminder of Hope. I am not alone in facing Intimidation. Natasha is there. Roya is there. My close friends are there. So is my church family. There are even a few people there that I'm surprised to see. It doesn't matter how big Intimidation looks, I can't shake this feeling that Hope is here. I'm surrounded by people - and by Hope. No matter how scary Intimidation can be, I remember that the One who is in me is much greater than Intimidation. "Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world."

Take that, Intimidation. Take that, survival mode.

LE