30 December 2005

Fighting

You know, there's something about spiritual warfare that makes us want to fight. We get so worked up to be confronted with the enemy again that all we want to do is fight. We fight the urge to sin. We fight the impulse to relax. We fight the thought the enemy could, once again, be staring us in the face, threatening to attack us. If we're not fighting the enemy, then we're often fighting the spirit vs. flesh battle. Yet, with each battle we fight, we grow more worn out, more frustrated, and often guiltier.

Why do we spend so much time fighting when there is more strength in surrender? I'm not talking about surrendering to the enemy or the "flesh," to use a good holiness Christian-ese word. I'm talking about giving up the fight to the Lord. If the enemy cannot convince us to go to his side, he'll convince us at least to fight. Fighting will weaken us. Surrender seems even weaker, doesn't it? But it's not.

When we surrender to the Lord, it means truly emptying ourselves of our - selves. No more me. No more you. We surrender, an act of weakness and humility, to watch the Lord's strength overpower both the enemy and our "flesh" without breaking a sweat.

How do we surrender to the Lord? Simple - we stop dwelling on thoughts like, "I'm not where I should be spiritually," and, "I'm just not good enough," for starters. We all know that. None of us has arrived, nor will we. None of us is good enough. Deal with it and move on to real surrender that doesn't come by focusing on what we're not. That focus still keeps US at the center.

We surrender to the Lord when we continually pray to Him, without self-focus, asking Him to reveal Himself. I dare you to pray in earnest for a month, "Father, in the name of Jesus, loose your Holy Spirit to teach me about who You really are." You'll be closer to surrender then because God will be at the center and the thoughts you have of yourself won't be repetitve Christian-ese phrases that try to prove humility. Rather, statements of earnest confession, truth, and spiritual celebration will pour forth as we worship God for all that He truly is! Battles will not seem insurmountable either because He'll be fighting; we won't.

28 December 2005

Temptation is Knocking

Temptation is a strange thing. Sometimes we don't recognize it. Sometimes when we do we don't understand why it's bad. A good friend of mine recently let me in on some of his own temptation. So did another friend. They both mentioned being fine most of the time...until....

Why is there always an until? I think there's an until because when we're doing "okay," we're doing it on our own. When we're really doing well overcoming temptation, we're not even thinking about it. Suddenly we think something like, You know, I haven't lied in four days! or Yes!! I haven't skipped my personal time with the Lord in a week! or I haven't let my eyes and mind wander into Internet porn for days! These are dangerous thoughts, friends.

These thoughts are dangerous because we take ownership. What initiates the thought of our victory is a temptation for that sin, right? A particular site pops into a girl's or guy's mind, and s/he automatically thinks, No, I haven't done that. Thinking that does nothing, though. It only leads to the until. The temptation never leaves. We take the bait of ownership, proudly declaring our own victory in our minds and hearts. Then we're surprised when we tell another lie, gossip, or replace God's love with the enemy's lust.

The point? When temptation comes knocking with the thought, You've done so well lately, immediately begin praying. Something I've prayed is, "God, fight this battle for me." Believe Him. The Father is chasing you with His love and will bring you through as purely as Christ in the power of His Holy Spirit! Hallelujah!

22 December 2005

Two Things

First, my anniversary was Monday. What a wonderful weekend we had! We went to Halifax for the weekend. We saw The Sound of Music at Neptune Theatre, went to the Halifax Mooseheads - Saint John Sea Dogs game, and shopped like crazy. What an awesome time! Because Christmas weekend will be spent in Moncton, we opened gifts yesterday. Natasha is very good. That is all. (You need Chris Botti.)

And now for something a little more serious.

I read this quote today: "In coming to Christ we do not bring our old life up onto a higher plane; we leave it at the cross" (Tozer, Man: The Dwelling Place of God).

That is me. I realized in reading that quote how progressive my sanctification really is. Most things in my life have been left at the cross, but how often have I prayed that God would change my life to make it something better? Asking God to do anything to my life besides take it away and give me a new one smacks of my own desire to cling to my own life. The more I cling to me, the less I cling to Him. Think about this quote today, Christians. (If you're not a Christian, you probably don't understand where we're coming from. Don't be afraid to post if you seriously want to know what's up.)

11 December 2005

One More Because I Can't Sleep

(I never should have left my apartment to disrupt noise earlier. Now I can't sleep.)

Most of you don't know what has happened recently. Here's the non-specific scoop. Natasha and I are praying about her/our internship placement. We have been approached by many churches. (Go figure - many people want Natasha's worship leading capabilities.) Most of these churches don't even have worship pastors, so this is a no-no for internships. Still, we've looked. We had a good lead that we thought ended in a closed door. It didn't. The door is still open. If you aren't praying with us, you should be.

If you know the specifics behind this post, you are not yet free to share with your friends. We have been confirmed nowhere yet. Stay tuned.

One More for the Good People Next Door

I was a jerk tonight. Right before I posted the other post I went next door to confront people in the townhouse "chapel." (If you don't believe me, check the door. It says "chapel," not "lounge.") They were wonderful people, but it was 11:30, and we are really tired tonight. It's noisy in there every night till almost midnight (another reason it should not be called "chapel"), and I'm usually very patient. It's been a long weekend, though, and I couldn't think or sleep. So I confronted.

Why do I share this? So that you all know that the rumors are true - I really am an uptight jerk when it comes to quiet hour. It's also so you don't think that the sudden stomping in and out of 66 Wesley Drive (a.k.a. townhouse center section) was because of bad people. I won't name the talkers because they're not normally the people who are loudest. (Yes, I really can usually tell exactly who's in there. My bedroom is on the other side of the kitchen wall. Kitchen - another reason it should not be called a "chapel.") Still, if you saw me coming or going and then saw the people who inevitably came out later, they're good people. Especially Andrew, who actually apologized, and I know he likely meant it...for all of those good people. (See, there really are some wonderful God-fearing people around.)

How It Went

Why does nothing normal ever happen in my life? Really. It's nothing huge this time, but as I should have expected, the gift thing wasn't exactly as I planned it. Here's how it went.

I took Friday off because my scheduled vacation day Wednesday was usurped by some college consultants who planned their visit after I planned my vacation days. This worked in my favor because I was able to set things up and get some other things done (i.e. banquet planning).

Natasha came home from morning classes about noon; I came home from jazz combo (Heidi was AMAZING on Friday night!!!!!!) practice around one. I mentioned presents time, but we didn't really get around to it until about two.

She loved the CDs, the ornament, and the pjs (especially the blue set...lounge pants, cami, and cardigan). The pearl earrings went over well, too. As she was opening the red pjs I remembered that I forgot to bring her card out of its hiding spot. I gasped, like a twit, and said, "Nothing." We finished opening the presents and put on the music.

Rebeckah (who doesn't read this blog because she thinks people who put personal things online are idiots) brought a curling iron for Natasha to use for the banquet, but Natasha's hair wasn't cooperating. She became increasingly frustrated, so I surprised Natasha by bringing out a Christmas present - hair straightener. (It had to cooperate with something, right?) That went well, but now I'm down one Christmas present and promised not to buy anything else after Remembrance Day. (Can someone help me justify?)

Then I did it. That's right. I forgot the card as suddenly as I remembered it at the wrong moment. She received the card this afternoon. (Fortunately, the birthday, banquet, and Christmas party - which is what Natasha really wanted for her birthday - all went well. The card still had the cry factor, which I didn't count on.)

09 December 2005

I know, I know

Look, I can be honest and say that the number of people who actually read this blog is small. Regardless, for that one faithful reader out there, I'm well aware that I fell off the blog-wagon. I just finished a 45-page paper, a visit with guys from Florida, and putting together some music for the banquet. They're all excuses, but you have to admit that life is convenient for that. :)

Okay, here's today's post. It is finally Natasha time!!! I've been waiting for this for weeks, and it's here. Her birthday is tomorrow, but we're opening presents today. Then the banquet is tonight, one of her favorite times. Tomorrow we're going to get our (real) tree and decorate it. Our Christmas party is tomorrow night. Next weekend is our anniversary honeymoon. The following weekend is Christmas. I get to give the presents now!!! (Could time possibly have moved any slower?)

So, what's everyone doing for Christmas?