I am officially using this blog to vent out my current frustrations. Every now and then I get a flare of childish stubbornness and I've decided to share this one with the world.
Eating is the bane of my existence. Years ago, every time I ate, I just felt sick to my stomach. So what. I mostly ignored it and went on living in ignorance. Three years ago, things got bad and I had to eliminate all wheat (gluten), sugar, and dairy from my diet. I also had to eliminate red meat and all grains for the first little while. I had one year of marriage, learning to cook, getting used to my favorite recipes, and then... Nothing has been the same since!! Every year, every month, and sometimes every week our diet changes. We are constantly learning about new things and then trying new things. Constantly adjusting trying to find a way to make health a priority while considering budget and scheduling factors as well.
Somewhere in the midst of this pregnancy, I hit a wall of "I want to eat what I want to eat!" I want to eat comfort food like chicken nuggets and Lays original chips. I want to have ice cream and eat a dessert every now and then... I want to just eat something yummy and convenient rather than analyzing its nutrition content and spend 30 minutes preparing a simple snack! (slight exaggeration)
In some strange way, I have reverted back to my childhood days when I would sit at the table for hours with a pout on my face because I didn't like peas. Two things are different: 1) ironically I actually love peas now and hate everything else, 2) the culprit is not my mother but my husband!!
Is it so wrong that I long for routine? Is it so bad that I don't want to have to think so much about food? I want to just feel hungry and grab whatever there is to eat.
Just so you know, these rantings will all be moot in ~2 hours. I only feel this way for a short spurt and then submit back to the reality that my body has a mind of its own and cares what goes in it. Some things it accepts as nourishment, other things it rejects as poison :) Such is life :)
Respectfully submitted,
Natasha
31 January 2008
24 January 2008
Book #2 - INFIDEL
INFIDEL is an autobiography by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, currently working in the States against abuse and oppression towards Muslim women by Muslims themsleves, ~38 years of age. It is a fascinating read as it reveals the inner culture of many Muslim countries and traditions, and reveals the fascinating journey of Ayaan's life from a devout Muslim to one of the leading spokesmen (women) in the Western world against Islamic tradition and abuse/oppression towards its women.
After growing up in Somalia, Kenya, Ethiopia, and Saudi Arabia, Ayaan was arranged by her father to marry a Muslim man from Canada whom she, of course, had never met. She said no, but it was legitimately inconsequential what she thought or wanted in that culture. Thus, in the midst of her travels through Europe to fly to Canada to be with her new husband, she fled to Holland where she applied for Refugee status and set out to begin her own life.
Ayaan describes her journey from piety to "secularized" as she encounters a culture that goes against everything she was taught, and yet functioned with peace and order as opposed to chaos and war. She became intrigued by government and Western tradition and began to recognize the "inhumanness" of her own Islamic culture (mutilation of female genitals, inequality between male and female, etc.) It pained me to read as she experienced a crisis of faith and slowly but surely left faith for reason. She began to exercise critical thought and the freedom of free speech. She learned Dutch language, became a citizen of Holland, achieved a degree in political science, and began working as a junior researcher in the Labor Party.
When 9/11 hit, a passion began to burn within Ayaan for the Western world to understand Islamic culture and stop tolerating something that completely opposed its core values. Her opinions led to explosions of conflict in the otherwise tolerant and peaceful Holland. She joined the Liberal Party and spoke out as an official member of Parliament. She made a short movie entitled "Submission" with a man named Theo Van Gogh, meant to bring awareness to her cause. At this point, Ayaan was already being protected by bodyguards, etc, but Theo was not. He was brutally murdered with a 5-page letter addressed to Ayaan stabbed to his chest. The country almost fell apart in confusion, outrage, and fear. Ayaan was taken to the US for hiding.
She was then offered a job in the States, left Parliament, and continues her cause to bring awareness and freedom to oppressed Muslim women. Her views are some of the most explosive and controversial in the present age, and every moment of her life is under strict security supervision, as most of the Muslim world is set out to kill her for the "heresies" she so boldly says.
A more than fascinating read!!! I highly recommend it!
Natasha
After growing up in Somalia, Kenya, Ethiopia, and Saudi Arabia, Ayaan was arranged by her father to marry a Muslim man from Canada whom she, of course, had never met. She said no, but it was legitimately inconsequential what she thought or wanted in that culture. Thus, in the midst of her travels through Europe to fly to Canada to be with her new husband, she fled to Holland where she applied for Refugee status and set out to begin her own life.
Ayaan describes her journey from piety to "secularized" as she encounters a culture that goes against everything she was taught, and yet functioned with peace and order as opposed to chaos and war. She became intrigued by government and Western tradition and began to recognize the "inhumanness" of her own Islamic culture (mutilation of female genitals, inequality between male and female, etc.) It pained me to read as she experienced a crisis of faith and slowly but surely left faith for reason. She began to exercise critical thought and the freedom of free speech. She learned Dutch language, became a citizen of Holland, achieved a degree in political science, and began working as a junior researcher in the Labor Party.
When 9/11 hit, a passion began to burn within Ayaan for the Western world to understand Islamic culture and stop tolerating something that completely opposed its core values. Her opinions led to explosions of conflict in the otherwise tolerant and peaceful Holland. She joined the Liberal Party and spoke out as an official member of Parliament. She made a short movie entitled "Submission" with a man named Theo Van Gogh, meant to bring awareness to her cause. At this point, Ayaan was already being protected by bodyguards, etc, but Theo was not. He was brutally murdered with a 5-page letter addressed to Ayaan stabbed to his chest. The country almost fell apart in confusion, outrage, and fear. Ayaan was taken to the US for hiding.
She was then offered a job in the States, left Parliament, and continues her cause to bring awareness and freedom to oppressed Muslim women. Her views are some of the most explosive and controversial in the present age, and every moment of her life is under strict security supervision, as most of the Muslim world is set out to kill her for the "heresies" she so boldly says.
A more than fascinating read!!! I highly recommend it!
Natasha
08 January 2008
Book #1 - Epicenter
I have joined a fascinating group of women who gather together for my very first book club. I never imagined myself being a part of something like this, because in truth, I don't really like the act of reading... I do, however, love being exposed to some of the most interesting ideas, authors, etc. and the prospect of discussing them with a variety of women from different backgrounds and belief perspectives. (Truthfully, our belief systems are all quite similar, but the variations exist nonetheless).
The first book we decided to read is Joel Rosenburg's Epicenter. Joel Rosenburg is a fascinating man who wrote his first novel, The Last Jihad, just before 9/11. As the real life events following the strike began to unfold, Joel and many others started to watch eyes wide as the politically thrilling novel came true...
The facts are not exactly the same between novel and real life, but the lines of events are eerily similar. Joel has since written three other novels projecting political and economic events before they happen. He has traveled the world researching and interviewing political leaders influential to the series of events unfolding in our world today.
Many have asked Joel how he knows what's coming... down to incredibly intimate details, deaths, etc... In answering this question he often references "the third lens". He says that in order to understand current events in the world right now, you must look through the lens of politics, economics, and Scripture.
Joel has an incredible gift of understanding the prophecies in Scripture. This understanding combined with knowledge and wisdom regarding politics and economics allows him to see the state of affairs in the Middle East (the Epicenter) in accordance with the end times.
The changes taking place in our world right now are so fascinating!!! I have only reached the tip of the iceberg in what I have been able to see and understand, but I am convinced, both in my spirit as well as cognitively, that we are watching some of the very events recorded in Scripture regarding the end times unfold before our very eyes.
Natasha
The first book we decided to read is Joel Rosenburg's Epicenter. Joel Rosenburg is a fascinating man who wrote his first novel, The Last Jihad, just before 9/11. As the real life events following the strike began to unfold, Joel and many others started to watch eyes wide as the politically thrilling novel came true...
The facts are not exactly the same between novel and real life, but the lines of events are eerily similar. Joel has since written three other novels projecting political and economic events before they happen. He has traveled the world researching and interviewing political leaders influential to the series of events unfolding in our world today.
Many have asked Joel how he knows what's coming... down to incredibly intimate details, deaths, etc... In answering this question he often references "the third lens". He says that in order to understand current events in the world right now, you must look through the lens of politics, economics, and Scripture.
Joel has an incredible gift of understanding the prophecies in Scripture. This understanding combined with knowledge and wisdom regarding politics and economics allows him to see the state of affairs in the Middle East (the Epicenter) in accordance with the end times.
The changes taking place in our world right now are so fascinating!!! I have only reached the tip of the iceberg in what I have been able to see and understand, but I am convinced, both in my spirit as well as cognitively, that we are watching some of the very events recorded in Scripture regarding the end times unfold before our very eyes.
Natasha
07 January 2008
Concerned
I'm writing this note because I feel a big mixture of emotions. I have a beautiful sister who is very intelligent and gifted. She hasn't made the wisest decisions to set herself up to succeed in adult life, but she's overcome most of those decisions. She is a living testament to how a person's commitment to excel can shock people who think high school dropouts can't do anything in life.
Tonight she told me she is pregnant, but she didn't want to tell me because I might be upset. I'll be honest; there are too many emotions running around inside me to be upset. I'm thrilled that there's a new life and that our daughter will actually have cousins on my side of the family. (Ben told me he and Lynn decided not to have children, though I hope that doesn't last.) I'm relieved that my sister won't experience the pain of infertility and the cost of trying to find treatment. I'm shocked that she lives at home with my mother, her boyfriend still lives with his parents, and they're making adult decisions like having sex without facing the adult responsibility of bringing a new generation into the planet. I'm hopeful that she's going to continue working to finish her diploma. I'm anxious that her current educational status will limit her career and family. I'm scared that her boyfriend might not commit to helping her raise this child, leaving my sister to face single motherhood at the age of 20. I'm bothered that she still hasn't been to a doctor and that she has no insurance, living in the US. I'm hurt that my sister still feels like she has to act perfect around me - a side effect, I'm afraid, of my over-involvement in her upbringing. Finally, I'm emotionally spent while I think about what this means for her and the family down south. This is exciting news, but I'm very concerned.
LE
Tonight she told me she is pregnant, but she didn't want to tell me because I might be upset. I'll be honest; there are too many emotions running around inside me to be upset. I'm thrilled that there's a new life and that our daughter will actually have cousins on my side of the family. (Ben told me he and Lynn decided not to have children, though I hope that doesn't last.) I'm relieved that my sister won't experience the pain of infertility and the cost of trying to find treatment. I'm shocked that she lives at home with my mother, her boyfriend still lives with his parents, and they're making adult decisions like having sex without facing the adult responsibility of bringing a new generation into the planet. I'm hopeful that she's going to continue working to finish her diploma. I'm anxious that her current educational status will limit her career and family. I'm scared that her boyfriend might not commit to helping her raise this child, leaving my sister to face single motherhood at the age of 20. I'm bothered that she still hasn't been to a doctor and that she has no insurance, living in the US. I'm hurt that my sister still feels like she has to act perfect around me - a side effect, I'm afraid, of my over-involvement in her upbringing. Finally, I'm emotionally spent while I think about what this means for her and the family down south. This is exciting news, but I'm very concerned.
LE
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