Why am I here, really? I'm not talking about my existence, at least existentially speaking. I'm asking why on earth I live where I do, doing what I do. Sure, I get all the spiritual reasons like, "I'm called," and "It's God's plan for me right now." Honestly, though, I just don't get it today. Just to whine for a moment, it's snowing on April 12! Spring has been here for weeks, and suddenly the world wants to revert back to winter. I'm hanging on to find out whether I can be here in Canada permanently, yet I'm setting down roots in a job here. Instead of doing hands-on, frontline ministry I'm doing an office job. Sure, I'm technically impacting more people than if I were out on the missions field somewhere, but this certainly isn't what I thought I'd be doing. Natasha and I love it here, but it just seems too different than what either of us had hoped for on days like today. Days like today are the kind of days when we just sit here and ponder. As it turns out, we're here because we're called here and because it's God's plan for us right now...seriously though.
Anybody else have circular reasoning days like this?
2 comments:
Canadian weather makes men out of boys and boys out of men.
I hear you brother! Figuring out your "Place in this world..." (swaying back and forth..) can be is a tough thing. I have always wanted to do God's will so badly and to serve him somewhere that I forget about where I am at currently. A lesson that has been impacting me lately is that we will do ministry wherever we are if that is our desire. Ministry isn't just a position. As we seek God's will for our lives, let us not forget to enjoy the present because we are so focused on the future. Lynn, you know our story and know that things have been hard sometimes and you question where you are. I trust God that he will give me peace where I am suppose to be and that I will be unsettled if I am in the wrong place. In order to figure that out, we need to slow down and listen for the Lord. We may even take larger steps to hear the voice of the Lord by fasting and trying to get rid of the human voices and listen for the divine. You have been a great example to me on fasting during your college years. This is my little advice for a person who doesn't know a thing in regards to what she is doing in the next few weeks! I will be praying for you.
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