I think there is a time and a place for them. I think there are some bikinis that are just as much if not more modest than some one pieces. The young lady should also consider the dynamic of gentlemen around her and the culture which she is in. We don't let the girls in the youth group wear two piece bathing suits to youth events...because the little boys don't need that temptation. Also, why is the girl wearing the bikini? To show off her body? To make guys drool? To attract attention? All wrong reasons...unless it's for her husband. Which brings me to one reason that I think it's acceptable ...to make the husband drool. ;-) Who DOESN"T wear a bikini on their honeymoon?! The Bible is clear about modesty. We often stretch this definition, I am afraid, to conform to the popular norm. I have found tankinis to be a good medium.
p.s. culture is a big deal. I mean, back in the day, it was a turn on for the guys to see the girl's ankles. But I think we have crossed the line when our cleavage and butt cheeks are hanging out (sorry for the crudness). I don't know if seeing a belly button is as immodest now a days as it used to be...guys correct me if I'm wrong. (not that I make it a practice of wearing belly shirts!) Exception to this belly button rule: bb rings are sexy- right Tasha? (wink)
WEAR THEM. Especially while you can (i.e. before you have kids and stretchmarks).
BUT
There is a difference between tasteful and not tasteful bikinis. One doesn't have to buy the G-string, small triangle covering up the boobs, variety.
Also, be aware when you are diving, going down waterslides, etc that nothing is falling off.
As women we can't control what is going through a man's head. That's up to them. Chances are there are a whole lot of other females wearing way more revealing things at the beach... or the pool... and the guy will be looking at them to. The guy should learn to be in control of their thoughts and shouldn't be at the beach anyway if they are going to be lusty.
PS I'm a female and I didn't post my name because you don't know me but I lurk on your blog.
If I know it's just going to be a bunch of girls, or I'm just laying out in the backyard or something, I don't have a problem wearing a bikini. But, generally speaking, if there are going to be guys around, I'll either wear a one-piece or put a t-shirt over a bikini. There's no reason for me to give anyone cause to stumble, and there's nothing that I want to show off to any guys anyway... :) I should say though, now that I think about it - if I'm going to the beach w/ girls, I would probably wear the bikini, even if there are other guys around... It's more if it's guys I know. Maybe that's not entirely right? Hm, I'm really starting to think about this now... Thanks Natasha! I guess it's a respect thing for guys I know - knowing them enough to not 'flaunt myself' in any way. But then why not have that same respect for all guys... I guess I need to think about this more. :) I'll get back to you when/if I come up with anything more concrete.
Natasha, I'm glad you included your name to let us know that this post was from you... cause for Lynn, I would definitely have to say NO BIKINIS! haha! I think it depends where you are and who you are with. I wear them when Matt and I are on vacation, or if I'm just with my family, but that's about it. When I am with other people, I usually wear a tank top over the bikini. And there are some settings/people that I would never feel comfortable wearing any kind of bathing suit around. When you think about it, there is really no such think as 'modest swimwear'(as we call it at youth group or church camp). Even a one piece is skin-tight spandex! So I guess it has to do with motive, culture, the people you are with, etc.
I think Ang is right about modesty being cultural. I think you need to assess how modest or not you will be in a bikini. In D.C. people wear less cloths in the summer than in Canada. Wearing a bikini at a beach here wouldn't turn a single head because everyone else has one on to. I don't see anything wrong with them- but I wouln't wear them in a lot of environments that I have been in. Also remember that you are not responsible for what goes on in other people's heads- it's not your problem. I can't imagine you trying to look "sexy" or "seductive" on any level, so I wouldn't worry about it.
I'm not necessarily planning on wearing a bikini at any point in my life. It's been so long of not being "allowed" that when I try one on, I can't imagine ever getting used to wearing one in public. But I often see godly women wearing beautiful bikini's and just being comfortable in their own skin. I think it's beautiful (though I agree that some bikini's are just nasty and inappropriate all around).
I also have shifting opinions regarding our "responsibility" to the male race. Most guys that I know of don't really care a whole lot (again, unless you're just being seductive...). Lynn certainly doesn't care if I go out in public with a bikini... Honestly, the things he would have me wear...!
So, I'm just pondering the issue, with every intention of sticking to my basic tankini :)
Yeah, wife, I have one. If you wear the bikini you tried on the other day, then I say, "Go for it!" :) If you want a serious measure, try one on, ask what I think and judge, according to my reaction, whether you want that reaction from me in public. :)
i have to be honest, i would have her much more scantily clad at times than she is comfortable with. unfortunately it's not my choice.
don't wear the gross ones though. (i.e. string bikinis and such)
i find my views on female modesty gradually devolving as i age. maybe i'm just becoming more jaded or cynical or comfortable in my skin or something. but i think the female form is a beautiful thing that can be appreciated without lust.
Someone said this to me once: To be immodest means to draw attention to yourself (ie it's a pride issue). So it depends on context. At the beach what's appropriate is different than at home or the mall or church. So to wear a 3-piece suit to the beach would be immodest, not because it shows off your body but because it draws attention to yourself. Just a thought.
12 comments:
I think there is a time and a place for them. I think there are some bikinis that are just as much if not more modest than some one pieces. The young lady should also consider the dynamic of gentlemen around her and the culture which she is in.
We don't let the girls in the youth group wear two piece bathing suits to youth events...because the little boys don't need that temptation.
Also, why is the girl wearing the bikini? To show off her body? To make guys drool? To attract attention? All wrong reasons...unless it's for her husband.
Which brings me to one reason that I think it's acceptable ...to make the husband drool. ;-) Who DOESN"T wear a bikini on their honeymoon?!
The Bible is clear about modesty. We often stretch this definition, I am afraid, to conform to the popular norm.
I have found tankinis to be a good medium.
p.s. culture is a big deal. I mean, back in the day, it was a turn on for the guys to see the girl's ankles. But I think we have crossed the line when our cleavage and butt cheeks are hanging out (sorry for the crudness). I don't know if seeing a belly button is as immodest now a days as it used to be...guys correct me if I'm wrong. (not that I make it a practice of wearing belly shirts!)
Exception to this belly button rule: bb rings are sexy- right Tasha? (wink)
WEAR THEM. Especially while you can (i.e. before you have kids and stretchmarks).
BUT
There is a difference between tasteful and not tasteful bikinis. One doesn't have to buy the G-string, small triangle covering up the boobs, variety.
Also, be aware when you are diving, going down waterslides, etc that nothing is falling off.
As women we can't control what is going through a man's head. That's up to them. Chances are there are a whole lot of other females wearing way more revealing things at the beach... or the pool...
and the guy will be looking at them to. The guy should learn to be in control of their thoughts and shouldn't be at the beach anyway if they are going to be lusty.
PS I'm a female and I didn't post my name because you don't know me but I lurk on your blog.
I'm not a fan. It's like wearing bra and underwear in public.
If I know it's just going to be a bunch of girls, or I'm just laying out in the backyard or something, I don't have a problem wearing a bikini.
But, generally speaking, if there are going to be guys around, I'll either wear a one-piece or put a t-shirt over a bikini. There's no reason for me to give anyone cause to stumble, and there's nothing that I want to show off to any guys anyway... :)
I should say though, now that I think about it - if I'm going to the beach w/ girls, I would probably wear the bikini, even if there are other guys around... It's more if it's guys I know. Maybe that's not entirely right? Hm, I'm really starting to think about this now... Thanks Natasha! I guess it's a respect thing for guys I know - knowing them enough to not 'flaunt myself' in any way. But then why not have that same respect for all guys...
I guess I need to think about this more. :) I'll get back to you when/if I come up with anything more concrete.
Natasha, I'm glad you included your name to let us know that this post was from you... cause for Lynn, I would definitely have to say NO BIKINIS! haha!
I think it depends where you are and who you are with. I wear them when Matt and I are on vacation, or if I'm just with my family, but that's about it. When I am with other people, I usually wear a tank top over the bikini. And there are some settings/people that I would never feel comfortable wearing any kind of bathing suit around.
When you think about it, there is really no such think as 'modest swimwear'(as we call it at youth group or church camp). Even a one piece is skin-tight spandex! So I guess it has to do with motive, culture, the people you are with, etc.
I think Ang is right about modesty being cultural. I think you need to assess how modest or not you will be in a bikini. In D.C. people wear less cloths in the summer than in Canada. Wearing a bikini at a beach here wouldn't turn a single head because everyone else has one on to. I don't see anything wrong with them- but I wouln't wear them in a lot of environments that I have been in. Also remember that you are not responsible for what goes on in other people's heads- it's not your problem. I can't imagine you trying to look "sexy" or "seductive" on any level, so I wouldn't worry about it.
Wow! Thanks for the great responses!
(Though I still haven't heard from any guys...)
I'm not necessarily planning on wearing a bikini at any point in my life. It's been so long of not being "allowed" that when I try one on, I can't imagine ever getting used to wearing one in public. But I often see godly women wearing beautiful bikini's and just being comfortable in their own skin. I think it's beautiful (though I agree that some bikini's are just nasty and inappropriate all around).
I also have shifting opinions regarding our "responsibility" to the male race. Most guys that I know of don't really care a whole lot (again, unless you're just being seductive...). Lynn certainly doesn't care if I go out in public with a bikini... Honestly, the things he would have me wear...!
So, I'm just pondering the issue, with every intention of sticking to my basic tankini :)
Any more comments?
(Natasha)
Yeah, wife, I have one. If you wear the bikini you tried on the other day, then I say, "Go for it!" :) If you want a serious measure, try one on, ask what I think and judge, according to my reaction, whether you want that reaction from me in public. :)
i'm a little late to the conversation...oh well.
i like bikinis.
especially on my wife.
i have to be honest, i would have her much more scantily clad at times than she is comfortable with. unfortunately it's not my choice.
don't wear the gross ones though. (i.e. string bikinis and such)
i find my views on female modesty gradually devolving as i age. maybe i'm just becoming more jaded or cynical or comfortable in my skin or something. but i think the female form is a beautiful thing that can be appreciated without lust.
there, i said it...
i like bikinis.
especially on my wife...
Someone said this to me once: To be immodest means to draw attention to yourself (ie it's a pride issue). So it depends on context. At the beach what's appropriate is different than at home or the mall or church. So to wear a 3-piece suit to the beach would be immodest, not because it shows off your body but because it draws attention to yourself. Just a thought.
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