I wrote an e-mail to someone the other day that I really liked. The reason I liked it was because the Lord was helping me work through something that brought some clarity to a person's confusion. It took over a week for me to "get it" because I was thinking too much instead of praying. It's similar to a recent post, but here's the text. (If you're reading this and recognize the e-mail to you, don't reveal yourself because I'm not going to.)
I think I have something to contribute to your dilemma though. Basically, I think the Lord helped me understand the difference between our passions and His anointing over the last week.
Our passions can come from Him or from ourselves. They involve things that we really enjoy doing and in which we find personal fulfillment. They resonate in our hearts and drive us. I think you have a passion for _____ and for _____. Following our passions generally makes us feel good, others feel good, and results in noticeable success.
His anointing is something that comes only from Him, but we cannot fight against it. We can choose only to live for it or not. We are anointed for obedience, regardless of what that looks like. I have been anointed to obey the Lord in making disciples of other people. Specifically that includes bringing people here to train for ministry. It includes leading a D-Group. It includes some personal mentoring with a few guys around here and elsewhere. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't. Sometimes others support it, sometimes they don't. The bottom line is that I'm living obediently according to God's anointing.
You need to decide whether you are anointed or passionate about things. Follow the anointing. Passions, regardless of their source, rest in our hearts, the most deceptive part of our bodies, according to Proverbs. Anointing has its source in the Lord and resides in our spirits. Allowing our minds, wills, and emotions to make decisions apart from the spirit keeps us in control. We need to allow our spirits (under the Spirit's control) to control our minds, wills, and emotions.
Whether your anointing will lead you to obey in _____, in _____, or in both, you need to obey the anointing. People driven by their passions end up like Saul in 1 Sam 15.
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