29 December 2006
One More Thing
Natasha may or may not be joining me on this blog. We're a good united team, so if you see her around here anytime soon, don't be surprised. Also, don't be surprised if the property value of this blog jumps by at least 1,000%!
A Home
We have a home. At least till August anyway. We met with the Jaspersons, hoping all the way that they were the answer to our prayers. As usual, it turns out that none of this was about us. We showed up at their home, only to discover that we were the answer to their prayers. She had been praying for months, believing that the Lord would somehow work out a way for her to spend the next year with her husband out west. Their house hadn't sold, they took it off the market, and they assumed that they would have to spend a second year apart. Until us. We thought we had found some generous people who were the answer to our housing need. They certainly were that. However, after the visit and a brief Holy Ghost party, we realized that God told us not to buy a house right now because He was working in a marriage. Two people who love each other and love Christ really needed to be together in the next year for the sake of their marriage and God's Kingdom. We were just the right sort of people to come in until August, after which their daughter will take over the house. They needed transient people who had nowhere to go but who would have nowhere they needed to be for almost a year. Here we are!
Lord, thank you for being so much bigger than us! Thanks for loving, caring, and blessing Your children, even though none of us merits it. We are weak people caught up in our own concerns, struggling between Your control and ours. Nevertheless, You have moved mightily! You powerfully brought the Jaspersons together, caused them to anoint their house for ministry, and granted them the patience and faith to believe that You really would bring their desires to pass. You graciously prevented us from taking steps too soon, not for us, but for our brother and sister. Ultimately, it's not even about them. We look to You for this miracle to continue. We celebrate You, whose love is so masterfully full that these details aren't even worth figuring out. You're a blessing, and we honor Your name forever! May You continue to mark out the path for the Jaspersons and for us as we all seek to know You more.
Lord, thank you for being so much bigger than us! Thanks for loving, caring, and blessing Your children, even though none of us merits it. We are weak people caught up in our own concerns, struggling between Your control and ours. Nevertheless, You have moved mightily! You powerfully brought the Jaspersons together, caused them to anoint their house for ministry, and granted them the patience and faith to believe that You really would bring their desires to pass. You graciously prevented us from taking steps too soon, not for us, but for our brother and sister. Ultimately, it's not even about them. We look to You for this miracle to continue. We celebrate You, whose love is so masterfully full that these details aren't even worth figuring out. You're a blessing, and we honor Your name forever! May You continue to mark out the path for the Jaspersons and for us as we all seek to know You more.
25 December 2006
My Favorite Time
This has been an incredible Christmas so far, and I anticipate more great things to come. Melissa called to let us know that my new favorite nephew has arrived! He is yet to be named (sound familiar?), but his first name will be John. Unfortunately, he's going by his middle name to avoid John confusion with other Johns in the Emmerson family. At this point I'm just happy that Johnny and Melissa keep birthing children according to my schedule. Destiny was born on my birthday; John was born on my favorite holiday (actually, Christmas Eve, but close enough).
The whole family was here at Dad's for Christmas today. I have beaucoup pictures, but I can't post them from here. (Thumbs down on leaving the sync and charging cables at home.)
Christmas is green this year. Ahh, the bliss! When so many people are seeing the White Death, I am reminded of life with grass, shrubs, and some trees that still have green foliage.
Finally, I'm blessed by Natasha. She has my heart right in the palm of her hand. And she's taking care of it. She cherishes my heart and loves me tenderly, boldly, shamelessly, and welcomingly. Her smile fans a spark inside me that causes me to look forward to the next 72 years (minimum) of our marriage. Our anniversary last week was more fun than we've had in awhile. It's good to be married to someone who is loving, imaginative, and less selfish than me. I LOVE HER!!!!
Okay, really finally, I miss the Lord. He's with me, and I know it. I'm just longing for Him right now. I'm so grateful to be head-over-heels for a Lord who never leaves me, who always teaches me, who is the one who gives both my existence and its meaning. Praise Him forever!
Merry Christmas, for the few of you who will look at this today!
The whole family was here at Dad's for Christmas today. I have beaucoup pictures, but I can't post them from here. (Thumbs down on leaving the sync and charging cables at home.)
Christmas is green this year. Ahh, the bliss! When so many people are seeing the White Death, I am reminded of life with grass, shrubs, and some trees that still have green foliage.
Finally, I'm blessed by Natasha. She has my heart right in the palm of her hand. And she's taking care of it. She cherishes my heart and loves me tenderly, boldly, shamelessly, and welcomingly. Her smile fans a spark inside me that causes me to look forward to the next 72 years (minimum) of our marriage. Our anniversary last week was more fun than we've had in awhile. It's good to be married to someone who is loving, imaginative, and less selfish than me. I LOVE HER!!!!
Okay, really finally, I miss the Lord. He's with me, and I know it. I'm just longing for Him right now. I'm so grateful to be head-over-heels for a Lord who never leaves me, who always teaches me, who is the one who gives both my existence and its meaning. Praise Him forever!
Merry Christmas, for the few of you who will look at this today!
18 December 2006
Packed Up
FYI, our things are in a U-Haul (more on this in a later post). We're trucking out as soon as possible tomorrow morning. We're celebrating our anniversary Tuesday. Then we're flying to see my fam. Then we're going back to our new home. We have no address or phone number, but we'll try to keep updated as much as possible. "See" you all online!
29 November 2006
Thinking About God
Why is it that sometimes I can think about God forever, exploring many thoughts about what makes Him who He is? Why is it that other times I seem to feel a resolve inside that God just is without thinking about Him at all? These questions aren't really questions. I'm not troubled by them. I'm just reflecting on how fleeting my thoughts are. God has spoken to me through my thoughts. He has revealed Himself to me through them on many occasions. The more I know Him, though, the less I have to mull Him over. There comes a point in our journeys in which we realize we can just trust Him - just accept Him for who He is. The mental struggles are still there, but they seem considerably less important than His overwhelming glory. When was the last time you had that moment?
26 November 2006
the 26th
Today is my half birthday. I don't feel any older. In fact I didn't realize it until right now, minutes before I go to bed. Still, it's my half birthday. Six months and I'll have my year birthday. I used to claim I was my age and a half as a child, constantly seeking to be older. Four and a half. Eight and a half. Ten and a half. Twenty-five and a half. So good.
21 November 2006
Hysterical
When was the last time you saw a good lawn ornament? When was the last time you thought about one? I laughed almost the entire ride home last night after a conversation about them. While describing a colorful man I know, I began to talk about his property. I explained how the man's home and garage look much like a Foxworthy routine. I said, "In the front yard," when Elizabeth inserted the question, "Lawn ornaments...?" The look on her face and questioning voice were stuck in my head. I was going to reference tools, car parts, and, yes, lawn ornaments. But the timing of her joke was perfect! So, Elizabeth, this one's for you. I found these lawn ornaments and thought of you. (That's probably the first and last time anyone has ever said that of you.)
19 November 2006
Rebel
If you haven't read through Isaiah in awhile, I strongly encourage you to do that. It's part of my devotions right now, and I'm also taking an exegesis class on the book. For my devotional reading I've chosen to read in the New Living Translation. Check out 53:12b with me:
"He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels."
The prophet was referring to the Suffering Servant here. It's commonly accepted that this Servant is the Messiah. We know Him as Jesus in 2006 CE.
Following a beautiful prophetic poem of how Jesus suffered on our behalf, the prophet includes this verse. Jesus Himself was counted among the rebels. I've heard this translated "transgressors" before. I like "rebels" better this morning because I was one. I was a transgressor, too. In other words, I did things wrong. But I was a rebel. I didn't just do things wrong; I did them deliberately. I deliberately chose to follow paths of which I knew God did not approve. I sinned, and I did it boldly. I was literally against Jesus, even though He was counted along with me among the rebels when He took the sins of the world.
Here's what strikes me. Jesus bore my sins and interceded for me, a rebel! He interceded for me! He still does! I am no longer a rebel. Sure, I still have to submit my mind, will, emotions, and spirit to Him daily, but I am not against Him. That's only because He interceded for me. He took my sins, I rebelled, and He interceded for me. I deliberately chose sin, and He interceded for me. I took His name in vain, and He interceded for me. I spat in His face, and He interceded for me. I struck Him, and He interceded for me. I turned my back on Him, sinning right in front of His face, and He interceded for me. I spread bad reports about Him, and He interceded for me. I incited other people against Him, and He interceded for me. I chose to run from Him, I didn't want to be found by Him, and He interceded for me. I worked in cooperation with the darkness inside and around me, and He interceded for me.
He stood between the Father and me, praying, "Father, forgive him. He doesn't know what he's doing." I did know what I was doing when I spoke against Him, hurt Him, and chose to sin. I did not know what I was doing when I purposefully joined the constant, fruitless search of what would satisfy, what would remove the darkness that kept me awake at night, what would take away the fears that plagued me. Just like the Roman soldiers at Jesus's crucifixion, I stood over Christ in full knowledge of my outward actions, but Jesus saw my desperate need for His salvation and interceded for me. He stood in Heaven interceding for me for a long time. He stands now in Heaven interceding for millions of other souls who don't know what they're doing.
I meditate on Christ this morning as one who was saved from rebellion. I no longer work against Jesus. Darkness does not rule inside me because Jesus's light has flooded my soul! I no longer partner with the darkness around me; instead I intercede with Jesus to conquer the darkness. Jesus was as bruised and scorned as Isaiah and the Gospel accounts record. Now, however, He is the bright and conquering Savior who leads us in intercession for the rebels. He doesn't hate rebels choosing rebellion. He loves them so much that He humbly prays for them. He loves them so much that He valiantly fights the darkness for them. He loves them so much that their sin, their curse, their humiliation is all His, should they trust that He is who He says He is. The rebels fight against Him, but Jesus leads with a powerful peace, a forceful love, a striking mercy. He is good - infinitely good. Good.
He is good. He received our 39 lashes. He was led through the streets in mockery. He stood before councils, governors, and kings in condemnation. He wore our crown of jagged thorns. He accepted our bruises, cuts, jabs, gashes, insults, punches, pushes, and curses. He carried our cross. He accepted our nails through His hands and His feet. He accepted abject humiliation by hanging on our cross and carrying the weight of our sin. He was placed in our tomb. He laid in our tomb and descended to the place of the dead. All the while He interceded for us.
It wasn't over. He defeated our death in a powerful blow! He rose from our grave! He initiated our new life! He appeared to many people like us who assumed He was dead. He blessed them, He taught them, He commissioned them. He went to Heaven for us, but He sent His Spirit to continue blessing us, teaching us, commissioning us. All the while He intercedes for us. By the power of His Spirit our trust that He is who He says He is results in the defeat of death in our lives. We raise from the graves! We receive new life! We bless, teach, and commission. Then we go to Heaven to be with Him - forever!
So, Jesus interceded for me. I am not a rebel. He still intercedes for me. He still intercedes for us. He loves us. He pursues us. Surely goodness and mercy will follow us - will hunt us down as in war, like the Hebrew word for "follow" says there - all the days of our lives. All the days. He hunts us rebels down with His love, His goodness, His mercy. We don't have to rebel. I am not a rebel. All because of His intercession. I am redeemed. All because of His intercession. I can sing the song of the redeemed that even the angels in heaven cannot sing. All because of His intercession. I see Jesus, high and exalted, and bow down to worship Him forever! PRAISE HIM FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!!
"He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels."
The prophet was referring to the Suffering Servant here. It's commonly accepted that this Servant is the Messiah. We know Him as Jesus in 2006 CE.
Following a beautiful prophetic poem of how Jesus suffered on our behalf, the prophet includes this verse. Jesus Himself was counted among the rebels. I've heard this translated "transgressors" before. I like "rebels" better this morning because I was one. I was a transgressor, too. In other words, I did things wrong. But I was a rebel. I didn't just do things wrong; I did them deliberately. I deliberately chose to follow paths of which I knew God did not approve. I sinned, and I did it boldly. I was literally against Jesus, even though He was counted along with me among the rebels when He took the sins of the world.
Here's what strikes me. Jesus bore my sins and interceded for me, a rebel! He interceded for me! He still does! I am no longer a rebel. Sure, I still have to submit my mind, will, emotions, and spirit to Him daily, but I am not against Him. That's only because He interceded for me. He took my sins, I rebelled, and He interceded for me. I deliberately chose sin, and He interceded for me. I took His name in vain, and He interceded for me. I spat in His face, and He interceded for me. I struck Him, and He interceded for me. I turned my back on Him, sinning right in front of His face, and He interceded for me. I spread bad reports about Him, and He interceded for me. I incited other people against Him, and He interceded for me. I chose to run from Him, I didn't want to be found by Him, and He interceded for me. I worked in cooperation with the darkness inside and around me, and He interceded for me.
He stood between the Father and me, praying, "Father, forgive him. He doesn't know what he's doing." I did know what I was doing when I spoke against Him, hurt Him, and chose to sin. I did not know what I was doing when I purposefully joined the constant, fruitless search of what would satisfy, what would remove the darkness that kept me awake at night, what would take away the fears that plagued me. Just like the Roman soldiers at Jesus's crucifixion, I stood over Christ in full knowledge of my outward actions, but Jesus saw my desperate need for His salvation and interceded for me. He stood in Heaven interceding for me for a long time. He stands now in Heaven interceding for millions of other souls who don't know what they're doing.
I meditate on Christ this morning as one who was saved from rebellion. I no longer work against Jesus. Darkness does not rule inside me because Jesus's light has flooded my soul! I no longer partner with the darkness around me; instead I intercede with Jesus to conquer the darkness. Jesus was as bruised and scorned as Isaiah and the Gospel accounts record. Now, however, He is the bright and conquering Savior who leads us in intercession for the rebels. He doesn't hate rebels choosing rebellion. He loves them so much that He humbly prays for them. He loves them so much that He valiantly fights the darkness for them. He loves them so much that their sin, their curse, their humiliation is all His, should they trust that He is who He says He is. The rebels fight against Him, but Jesus leads with a powerful peace, a forceful love, a striking mercy. He is good - infinitely good. Good.
He is good. He received our 39 lashes. He was led through the streets in mockery. He stood before councils, governors, and kings in condemnation. He wore our crown of jagged thorns. He accepted our bruises, cuts, jabs, gashes, insults, punches, pushes, and curses. He carried our cross. He accepted our nails through His hands and His feet. He accepted abject humiliation by hanging on our cross and carrying the weight of our sin. He was placed in our tomb. He laid in our tomb and descended to the place of the dead. All the while He interceded for us.
It wasn't over. He defeated our death in a powerful blow! He rose from our grave! He initiated our new life! He appeared to many people like us who assumed He was dead. He blessed them, He taught them, He commissioned them. He went to Heaven for us, but He sent His Spirit to continue blessing us, teaching us, commissioning us. All the while He intercedes for us. By the power of His Spirit our trust that He is who He says He is results in the defeat of death in our lives. We raise from the graves! We receive new life! We bless, teach, and commission. Then we go to Heaven to be with Him - forever!
So, Jesus interceded for me. I am not a rebel. He still intercedes for me. He still intercedes for us. He loves us. He pursues us. Surely goodness and mercy will follow us - will hunt us down as in war, like the Hebrew word for "follow" says there - all the days of our lives. All the days. He hunts us rebels down with His love, His goodness, His mercy. We don't have to rebel. I am not a rebel. All because of His intercession. I am redeemed. All because of His intercession. I can sing the song of the redeemed that even the angels in heaven cannot sing. All because of His intercession. I see Jesus, high and exalted, and bow down to worship Him forever! PRAISE HIM FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!!
10 November 2006
House
Okay, so I'm not having any luck posting the picture. I've done this before, but I'm not cluing into the problem yet.... Anyway, it has three bedrooms (good for hosting...), two bathrooms, a big kitchen and living room, dining area, den, office/fourth bedroom, deck, woodstove, etc. There's a walk-in closet in the master bedroom that has a window in it! It's only four years old, one owner, so it's in great shape. Anyway, if you don't see the picture, just click on the area where the picture should be. It will show up.Where We Are
Most of you don't know that we're missing, but some of you who live close to us realize we're AWOL. We're at our in-laws' house right now. We were supposed to be home from house shopping on Wednesday, but we ran into a snag. Yes, our car broke down. As in, broke down, unable to run, smoke coming from various points of the car. The Lord, being the Lord, provided a ride to our in-laws within ten minutes, with a man who needed to hear about Jesus. :) (He thought we needed the same; what fun JWs are!) So, we rode for two hours with a new friend who has a lot to think about. Before the breakdown our in-laws already planned on giving us their car for our house hunt, while they arranged to have ours fixed. They got more than they bargained for, since they were the ones who went up to get the car, bring it back here, and oversee the repairs. Basically, the car needs a new engine. Entirely new engine. It was supposed to be done yesterday, but there were complications. Now we're on day 2, not knowing when the car will be done, not knowing when we're going home. (We're counting on today.) I'm glad the Lord doesn't need me at work to provide for us. I'm also glad we have understanding supervisors back home.
In other news, we think we found a house. I'll try to post a picture of it in a minute.
In other news, we think we found a house. I'll try to post a picture of it in a minute.
30 October 2006
Monument
May last night be a monument in my life! This is a powerful testimony that I'm blessed and encouraged to write. Please read it and rejoice with me in the power of Christ!
Last night we met with some good friends at the church. The topic wasn't necessarily clear, nor was there immediate resolve. However, my sister in Christ looked at me right before we dismissed and said, "There's something welling up in you. You have some bitterness, and the Lord wants to deal with it." I agreed because we had prayed before the meeting, believing that God would bring out what needed to be brought out. It felt hard to hear, but I assumed the Lord must have given her that impression. I reflected on it prayerfully on the way home.
Earlier in the day I felt the Lord telling me I had some bitterness, so what happened last night only confirmed it. I confessed my bitterness over the phone to a pastor and agreed to spend some time in prayer with Natasha about it. I prayed by myself and also found some written prayers. The Lord led me into a long prayer of confession, followed by a prayer of forgiveness and release for my immediate bitterness. This was all good.
Then the Lord showed me a prayer for forgiveness of my parents in the prayer book. I decided to go through it. It became very emotional for me, but it was spiritually freeing, to say the least! I never imagined that halfway through the prayer I would end up being delivered of some major bitterness toward my family, but that's how God works. He is so good to uncover things that would otherwise threaten relationships among our family and between God and me! His faithfulness is a huge blessing! I'm sure the Lord has more work to do, but I want to establish what happened last night as a memorial in my spiritual journey. Regardless of what else the Lord brings me through, even with my family, I stand firmly in the strong freedom of Christ, released from bitterness and having released my family (and friend) from my control. Praise the Lord!
Last night we met with some good friends at the church. The topic wasn't necessarily clear, nor was there immediate resolve. However, my sister in Christ looked at me right before we dismissed and said, "There's something welling up in you. You have some bitterness, and the Lord wants to deal with it." I agreed because we had prayed before the meeting, believing that God would bring out what needed to be brought out. It felt hard to hear, but I assumed the Lord must have given her that impression. I reflected on it prayerfully on the way home.
Earlier in the day I felt the Lord telling me I had some bitterness, so what happened last night only confirmed it. I confessed my bitterness over the phone to a pastor and agreed to spend some time in prayer with Natasha about it. I prayed by myself and also found some written prayers. The Lord led me into a long prayer of confession, followed by a prayer of forgiveness and release for my immediate bitterness. This was all good.
Then the Lord showed me a prayer for forgiveness of my parents in the prayer book. I decided to go through it. It became very emotional for me, but it was spiritually freeing, to say the least! I never imagined that halfway through the prayer I would end up being delivered of some major bitterness toward my family, but that's how God works. He is so good to uncover things that would otherwise threaten relationships among our family and between God and me! His faithfulness is a huge blessing! I'm sure the Lord has more work to do, but I want to establish what happened last night as a memorial in my spiritual journey. Regardless of what else the Lord brings me through, even with my family, I stand firmly in the strong freedom of Christ, released from bitterness and having released my family (and friend) from my control. Praise the Lord!
27 October 2006
Some Things
1) Psalm 22 changed my outlook on the Lord this week. I want to post my entire exegesis on it, but that would be too long. Let's just say that Jesus makes a lot more sense, as do David and the Father. Praise Him!! His answers are so perfect and beyond us, even when we think He's answering our immediate need.
2) Our car needs replaced. Lord, let it happen soon! (This will be a miracle, but I assume that's on its way.)
3) You must check this out. Heather sent it to me, and I'm very happy she did. It's a great symposium of much of my life. (Note: For those who are used to my piety, please know that this is extremely lighthearted.)
4) Alex wants me to register to vote. I'm all about that. But he wants me to register Republican. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. If I'm Republican, that means letting go of a lot of things. So would being Democrat. Since few people take Independents seriously, I'm in a bit of a quandary. If you have intelligent things to offer (not ignorance, slander, libel, or spiritual judgmentalism), I'd welcome the wisdom.
5) Did you check this out yet? I wasn't kidding. Very good.
2) Our car needs replaced. Lord, let it happen soon! (This will be a miracle, but I assume that's on its way.)
3) You must check this out. Heather sent it to me, and I'm very happy she did. It's a great symposium of much of my life. (Note: For those who are used to my piety, please know that this is extremely lighthearted.)
4) Alex wants me to register to vote. I'm all about that. But he wants me to register Republican. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. If I'm Republican, that means letting go of a lot of things. So would being Democrat. Since few people take Independents seriously, I'm in a bit of a quandary. If you have intelligent things to offer (not ignorance, slander, libel, or spiritual judgmentalism), I'd welcome the wisdom.
5) Did you check this out yet? I wasn't kidding. Very good.
19 October 2006
International
Sometimes it's strange to think about international families. Natasha and I will most likely have to move before Christmas so that we have time with the Erskines/Bennetts in Delaware before we're officially on at IBC for January 2. We've been looking into flights and whatnot for that, realizing that a flight from Halifax to Baltimore really is international. We've also been dealing with Natasha's financial aid and have to drive to Perth-Andover or Woodstock tomorrow as a result. The US and Canada don't usually feel international. If it weren't for the customs station, the road in front of our house would continue east and drop us in Perth-Andover after awhile. When we fly down at Christmas, we're going to follow the same coast. The political boundaries aren't visible in the air. It all looks like one piece of land. You don't even realize you're not looking at Canada anymore until Boston comes into view from the air. Is it strange that it doesn't feel international? What does this communicate, if anything, about the identities of our countries?
(Note: There will be something new on our food blog soon. We're not home enough to cook, which is sad. However, breakfast this morning was startlingly good.)
(Note: There will be something new on our food blog soon. We're not home enough to cook, which is sad. However, breakfast this morning was startlingly good.)
15 October 2006
Marriage Free from Self-Defense
Our lives don't leave much blogging time lately, but I would say I'm MUCH more of a Blogger than a MySpacer. I've appreciated MySpace for its quick and easy connection to friends I haven't seen or heard from in YEARS. However, I could never get over the ads that I find on everyone's sites. I have told few people about my MySpace because I'm not proud of the ads. (In fact, I joined just to stay in moderate contact with my brother.) I e-mailed the imfamous "Tom" about the singles ads, but I never heard back. I could find no way to block them. Then it happened.
One night when I had just submitted a message, a confirmation page came up, on which was displayed a singles ad. Natasha walked in the room and asked, "What in the world are you looking at?" I told her I was on MySpace and explained the advertisement situation. She said she trusted me, and we were fine.
That really ate at me. My wife trusts me a lot. A whole lot. She loves me unconditionally. Yet, she came in the room when an ad from my own website was showing, and she wondered if that were about to unravel. Why do I want to give my wife any reason to suspect me, even if that comes through a seemingly innocent site? How innocent is a site that allures people to looking at covered women, only to tempt them to go the next step, then the next, then the next? Why am I hosting a website with images I don't condone and won't send people to see? Why do I want to remain part of a site that is likely to reproduce the scenario above the next time Natasha walks in the room and sees an ad she's not seen before? I have a marriage free of self-defense. We are, in a sense, naked and unashamed before each other. I have no desire to see that destroyed.
Moral: I'm leaving MySpace as soon as the bulletin I just sent reaches all of my friends (or within 72 hours, whichever I feel like doing at the time).
One night when I had just submitted a message, a confirmation page came up, on which was displayed a singles ad. Natasha walked in the room and asked, "What in the world are you looking at?" I told her I was on MySpace and explained the advertisement situation. She said she trusted me, and we were fine.
That really ate at me. My wife trusts me a lot. A whole lot. She loves me unconditionally. Yet, she came in the room when an ad from my own website was showing, and she wondered if that were about to unravel. Why do I want to give my wife any reason to suspect me, even if that comes through a seemingly innocent site? How innocent is a site that allures people to looking at covered women, only to tempt them to go the next step, then the next, then the next? Why am I hosting a website with images I don't condone and won't send people to see? Why do I want to remain part of a site that is likely to reproduce the scenario above the next time Natasha walks in the room and sees an ad she's not seen before? I have a marriage free of self-defense. We are, in a sense, naked and unashamed before each other. I have no desire to see that destroyed.
Moral: I'm leaving MySpace as soon as the bulletin I just sent reaches all of my friends (or within 72 hours, whichever I feel like doing at the time).
13 October 2006
Catching Up
If you haven't caught up with us in awhile (or maybe even if you have), here's something new for you: Natasha and I are moving to Truro, Nova Scotia. We have been in contact with Immanuel Baptist for several weeks, feeling the obvious hand of God on us for most of that time. The Lord is leading us back into worship ministry, as we wondered if He was doing back when Moe came to town (see post from last March). There are so many unknowns here, but the One we know overcomes all that. Please pray with us for that transition; we are meant to begin on January 2, 2007. These are EXTREMELY exciting times!!
11 October 2006
Testimonies
There are way too many testimonies to write in one blog when I'm already too tired to be awake. It's just that I'm too humbly blessed not to blog right now! I miss blogging, and I miss the blogging community, but there is so much going on right now! I'll put a few things:
1) In addition to receiving occasional songs from the Lord, I've had a lot of opportunity to do prophetic worship lately. It's been a blessing I never expected to receive!
2) The men's prayer summit was earth-shattering for me. Among other things, I spilled my entire life story to several men (even the dark, dirty stuff), believed someone for the first time when they said they loved me, prayed over many men, was prayed over by many men, received more rhema word from the Lord than ever before, etc., etc., etc.
3) The Lord has given me a new glimpse of His plan for me. More on that when I've actually communicated personally with some people close to me who don't blog. (You know, I just don't want my blogging friends to tell my family or close friends about the biggest things in my life.) No, we're not pregnant.
4) I'm just different. I know it. I mean, I'm the same, but I'm really not. It's incredible. Please, with everything in you, chase after Jesus with everything in you. Don't give up because you're tired. Don't give up because you hear the enemy of your soul roaring. Jesus is so powerful, loving, caring, challenging, and perfect. He's transparent and humble. He's welcoming and personal. He's great and mighty. He's more than all these things, and you know you want to know Him. Don't judge Him by me or by any other person who says they know Him. Get to know Him very well and go from there.
1) In addition to receiving occasional songs from the Lord, I've had a lot of opportunity to do prophetic worship lately. It's been a blessing I never expected to receive!
2) The men's prayer summit was earth-shattering for me. Among other things, I spilled my entire life story to several men (even the dark, dirty stuff), believed someone for the first time when they said they loved me, prayed over many men, was prayed over by many men, received more rhema word from the Lord than ever before, etc., etc., etc.
3) The Lord has given me a new glimpse of His plan for me. More on that when I've actually communicated personally with some people close to me who don't blog. (You know, I just don't want my blogging friends to tell my family or close friends about the biggest things in my life.) No, we're not pregnant.
4) I'm just different. I know it. I mean, I'm the same, but I'm really not. It's incredible. Please, with everything in you, chase after Jesus with everything in you. Don't give up because you're tired. Don't give up because you hear the enemy of your soul roaring. Jesus is so powerful, loving, caring, challenging, and perfect. He's transparent and humble. He's welcoming and personal. He's great and mighty. He's more than all these things, and you know you want to know Him. Don't judge Him by me or by any other person who says they know Him. Get to know Him very well and go from there.
22 September 2006
Giving Glory
(If you hate moose, don't read the first paragraph.)
First, I have seen three moose in the past 48 hours. I told the Lord I'd give Him glory if I saw one back in July. Now I've seen three. Three! THREE!!! Two of them were bulls, both of whom were running across the road in front of me when I saw them. Those two were during the day. The one I saw in Bridgewater this morning actually stopped and stayed just off the side of the road so I could watch him as I drove by. He wasn't as big as the first bull. The other moose was actually the first one I saw. We were driving home the other night when we passed Myrtle Tree (see flower pics in my flickr thing). Standing off the side of the road eating leaves was a cow moose. She was gone when I turned around to show Natasha. Still, it was a moose!
Second, the Lord is amazing to speak His Word to us faithfully! I was having one of those flesh-vs-spirit times earlier today while listening to CFNI's most recent CD. ("Unto the Lamb" is just as good on the CD, in my opinion, as on the DVD.) The worship leader said, "Whomever the Son has set free is free indeed." The rhema Word of God rushed into my spirit like a whirlwind. I thought, "Yes. Free indeed." Then I spoke it out loud. My disappointment fled, and I knew the Word had been spoken so I could revel in God's freedom. I'm growing in that freedom every day. Sometimes I'm tempted to think I'm not free because I don't look like Pastor X or church-goer Y. Then the Lord reminds me that our salvation isn't about levels and lines to cross. To the contrary, it's about knowing Him more everyday. Do I know Him as completely as I can right now? I think so. Do I know Him as completely as I "should?" Probably not. Yet, somehow, He's okay with me. He loves me still. He's still faithful to speak His rhema Word to me, the kind of Word that is used in Ephesians 6 in the spiritual armor passage (thanks, Beth Moore, for pointing that out to me). We don't have to ask, "Lord, I'm not far enough or good enough, am I?" because He is enough. We don't have to be. He is the level of holiness. We don't have to reach one. He is our portion. We don't have to claim any. He is our riches. We don't have to gain any. He is our beauty. We don't have to achieve any. He is our strength. We don't have to grasp for it. He is our wisdom. We don't have to study for more. He is our everything. We don't have to look for anything else.
First, I have seen three moose in the past 48 hours. I told the Lord I'd give Him glory if I saw one back in July. Now I've seen three. Three! THREE!!! Two of them were bulls, both of whom were running across the road in front of me when I saw them. Those two were during the day. The one I saw in Bridgewater this morning actually stopped and stayed just off the side of the road so I could watch him as I drove by. He wasn't as big as the first bull. The other moose was actually the first one I saw. We were driving home the other night when we passed Myrtle Tree (see flower pics in my flickr thing). Standing off the side of the road eating leaves was a cow moose. She was gone when I turned around to show Natasha. Still, it was a moose!
Second, the Lord is amazing to speak His Word to us faithfully! I was having one of those flesh-vs-spirit times earlier today while listening to CFNI's most recent CD. ("Unto the Lamb" is just as good on the CD, in my opinion, as on the DVD.) The worship leader said, "Whomever the Son has set free is free indeed." The rhema Word of God rushed into my spirit like a whirlwind. I thought, "Yes. Free indeed." Then I spoke it out loud. My disappointment fled, and I knew the Word had been spoken so I could revel in God's freedom. I'm growing in that freedom every day. Sometimes I'm tempted to think I'm not free because I don't look like Pastor X or church-goer Y. Then the Lord reminds me that our salvation isn't about levels and lines to cross. To the contrary, it's about knowing Him more everyday. Do I know Him as completely as I can right now? I think so. Do I know Him as completely as I "should?" Probably not. Yet, somehow, He's okay with me. He loves me still. He's still faithful to speak His rhema Word to me, the kind of Word that is used in Ephesians 6 in the spiritual armor passage (thanks, Beth Moore, for pointing that out to me). We don't have to ask, "Lord, I'm not far enough or good enough, am I?" because He is enough. We don't have to be. He is the level of holiness. We don't have to reach one. He is our portion. We don't have to claim any. He is our riches. We don't have to gain any. He is our beauty. We don't have to achieve any. He is our strength. We don't have to grasp for it. He is our wisdom. We don't have to study for more. He is our everything. We don't have to look for anything else.
17 September 2006
Gold
I found out today that gold refined to its absolute purest form is clear like glass. Aside from being a completely cool fact and something beautiful I'd like to see, I think I have a new life goal. The Bible prompts my prayer for the Lord to refine me like gold. My new life goal is that I would be so refined that I would be clear. That way when people look at me they would see through me to Christ!
09 September 2006
Something About Marriage
This has been an insane week. I was prepared for my classes to start, but I was not prepared for heavy projects due in the first days of class. I was prepared for a heavy workweek, but I was not prepared for the effect of the long hours on my body. Nor was I prepared for the effect that both things would have on my marriage this week. Don't get me wrong; Natasha is being extremely gracious. My complaint is really with myself. Sometimes when you're married you know you're doing things that aren't helpful to oneness (like working a night shift only to stay up studying afterward). Then you miss your spouse a lot. You don't say anything, though, because your longing just for a brief conversation is your own fault, and you don't need to dump on your spouse.
That's the thing about marriage, though. Communicating what you think and feel is much better than holding it in because you're hurt or your spouse is hurt. Sometimes you have to feel, even embrace, the hurt to get anywhere. When you've married someone you can trust, you can hurt with them without fear of what may happen when you share your wounded heart. It is a great feeling! (And, for what it's worth, this is another reason why a good marriage is a good analogy for the God - human relationship.)
That's the thing about marriage, though. Communicating what you think and feel is much better than holding it in because you're hurt or your spouse is hurt. Sometimes you have to feel, even embrace, the hurt to get anywhere. When you've married someone you can trust, you can hurt with them without fear of what may happen when you share your wounded heart. It is a great feeling! (And, for what it's worth, this is another reason why a good marriage is a good analogy for the God - human relationship.)
08 September 2006
Tenth
We recently had to translate Isaiah 6 from Hebrew into English for our "Exegesis of Isaiah" class. The assignment was my first big translating effort since I took Hebrew last fall. In 6:13 we read about a tenth of the people returning to the land. The Hebrew word was literally translated "tenth." I haven't done much translation of the whole Old Testament (yet), but the "tenth" stuck out to me. The other place the Hebrews talked about a "tenth" was in their tithing system. Could there be any connection between the "tenth" of the people who would return to the land and the "tenth" that would be offered to the Lord?
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