One More Thing

Natasha may or may not be joining me on this blog. We're a good united team, so if you see her around here anytime soon, don't be surprised. Also, don't be surprised if the property value of this blog jumps by at least 1,000%!

A Home

We have a home. At least till August anyway. We met with the Jaspersons, hoping all the way that they were the answer to our prayers. As usual, it turns out that none of this was about us. We showed up at their home, only to discover that we were the answer to their prayers. She had been praying for months, believing that the Lord would somehow work out a way for her to spend the next year with her husband out west. Their house hadn't sold, they took it off the market, and they assumed that they would have to spend a second year apart. Until us. We thought we had found some generous people who were the answer to our housing need. They certainly were that. However, after the visit and a brief Holy Ghost party, we realized that God told us not to buy a house right now because He was working in a marriage. Two people who love each other and love Christ really needed to be together in the next year for the sake of their marriage and God's Kingdom. We were just the right sort of people to come in until August, after which their daughter will take over the house. They needed transient people who had nowhere to go but who would have nowhere they needed to be for almost a year. Here we are!

Lord, thank you for being so much bigger than us! Thanks for loving, caring, and blessing Your children, even though none of us merits it. We are weak people caught up in our own concerns, struggling between Your control and ours. Nevertheless, You have moved mightily! You powerfully brought the Jaspersons together, caused them to anoint their house for ministry, and granted them the patience and faith to believe that You really would bring their desires to pass. You graciously prevented us from taking steps too soon, not for us, but for our brother and sister. Ultimately, it's not even about them. We look to You for this miracle to continue. We celebrate You, whose love is so masterfully full that these details aren't even worth figuring out. You're a blessing, and we honor Your name forever! May You continue to mark out the path for the Jaspersons and for us as we all seek to know You more.

My Favorite Time

This has been an incredible Christmas so far, and I anticipate more great things to come. Melissa called to let us know that my new favorite nephew has arrived! He is yet to be named (sound familiar?), but his first name will be John. Unfortunately, he's going by his middle name to avoid John confusion with other Johns in the Emmerson family. At this point I'm just happy that Johnny and Melissa keep birthing children according to my schedule. Destiny was born on my birthday; John was born on my favorite holiday (actually, Christmas Eve, but close enough).

The whole family was here at Dad's for Christmas today. I have beaucoup pictures, but I can't post them from here. (Thumbs down on leaving the sync and charging cables at home.)

Christmas is green this year. Ahh, the bliss! When so many people are seeing the White Death, I am reminded of life with grass, shrubs, and some trees that still have green foliage.

Finally, I'm blessed by Natasha. She has my heart right in the palm of her hand. And she's taking care of it. She cherishes my heart and loves me tenderly, boldly, shamelessly, and welcomingly. Her smile fans a spark inside me that causes me to look forward to the next 72 years (minimum) of our marriage. Our anniversary last week was more fun than we've had in awhile. It's good to be married to someone who is loving, imaginative, and less selfish than me. I LOVE HER!!!!

Okay, really finally, I miss the Lord. He's with me, and I know it. I'm just longing for Him right now. I'm so grateful to be head-over-heels for a Lord who never leaves me, who always teaches me, who is the one who gives both my existence and its meaning. Praise Him forever!

Merry Christmas, for the few of you who will look at this today!

Packed Up

FYI, our things are in a U-Haul (more on this in a later post). We're trucking out as soon as possible tomorrow morning. We're celebrating our anniversary Tuesday. Then we're flying to see my fam. Then we're going back to our new home. We have no address or phone number, but we'll try to keep updated as much as possible. "See" you all online!

Thinking About God

Why is it that sometimes I can think about God forever, exploring many thoughts about what makes Him who He is? Why is it that other times I seem to feel a resolve inside that God just is without thinking about Him at all? These questions aren't really questions. I'm not troubled by them. I'm just reflecting on how fleeting my thoughts are. God has spoken to me through my thoughts. He has revealed Himself to me through them on many occasions. The more I know Him, though, the less I have to mull Him over. There comes a point in our journeys in which we realize we can just trust Him - just accept Him for who He is. The mental struggles are still there, but they seem considerably less important than His overwhelming glory. When was the last time you had that moment?

the 26th

Today is my half birthday. I don't feel any older. In fact I didn't realize it until right now, minutes before I go to bed. Still, it's my half birthday. Six months and I'll have my year birthday. I used to claim I was my age and a half as a child, constantly seeking to be older. Four and a half. Eight and a half. Ten and a half. Twenty-five and a half. So good.

Hysterical

When was the last time you saw a good lawn ornament? When was the last time you thought about one? I laughed almost the entire ride home last night after a conversation about them. While describing a colorful man I know, I began to talk about his property. I explained how the man's home and garage look much like a Foxworthy routine. I said, "In the front yard," when Elizabeth inserted the question, "Lawn ornaments...?" The look on her face and questioning voice were stuck in my head. I was going to reference tools, car parts, and, yes, lawn ornaments. But the timing of her joke was perfect! So, Elizabeth, this one's for you. I found these lawn ornaments and thought of you. (That's probably the first and last time anyone has ever said that of you.)

Rebel

If you haven't read through Isaiah in awhile, I strongly encourage you to do that. It's part of my devotions right now, and I'm also taking an exegesis class on the book. For my devotional reading I've chosen to read in the New Living Translation. Check out 53:12b with me:

"He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels."

The prophet was referring to the Suffering Servant here. It's commonly accepted that this Servant is the Messiah. We know Him as Jesus in 2006 CE.

Following a beautiful prophetic poem of how Jesus suffered on our behalf, the prophet includes this verse. Jesus Himself was counted among the rebels. I've heard this translated "transgressors" before. I like "rebels" better this morning because I was one. I was a transgressor, too. In other words, I did things wrong. But I was a rebel. I didn't just do things wrong; I did them deliberately. I deliberately chose to follow paths of which I knew God did not approve. I sinned, and I did it boldly. I was literally against Jesus, even though He was counted along with me among the rebels when He took the sins of the world.

Here's what strikes me. Jesus bore my sins and interceded for me, a rebel! He interceded for me! He still does! I am no longer a rebel. Sure, I still have to submit my mind, will, emotions, and spirit to Him daily, but I am not against Him. That's only because He interceded for me. He took my sins, I rebelled, and He interceded for me. I deliberately chose sin, and He interceded for me. I took His name in vain, and He interceded for me. I spat in His face, and He interceded for me. I struck Him, and He interceded for me. I turned my back on Him, sinning right in front of His face, and He interceded for me. I spread bad reports about Him, and He interceded for me. I incited other people against Him, and He interceded for me. I chose to run from Him, I didn't want to be found by Him, and He interceded for me. I worked in cooperation with the darkness inside and around me, and He interceded for me.

He stood between the Father and me, praying, "Father, forgive him. He doesn't know what he's doing." I did know what I was doing when I spoke against Him, hurt Him, and chose to sin. I did not know what I was doing when I purposefully joined the constant, fruitless search of what would satisfy, what would remove the darkness that kept me awake at night, what would take away the fears that plagued me. Just like the Roman soldiers at Jesus's crucifixion, I stood over Christ in full knowledge of my outward actions, but Jesus saw my desperate need for His salvation and interceded for me. He stood in Heaven interceding for me for a long time. He stands now in Heaven interceding for millions of other souls who don't know what they're doing.

I meditate on Christ this morning as one who was saved from rebellion. I no longer work against Jesus. Darkness does not rule inside me because Jesus's light has flooded my soul! I no longer partner with the darkness around me; instead I intercede with Jesus to conquer the darkness. Jesus was as bruised and scorned as Isaiah and the Gospel accounts record. Now, however, He is the bright and conquering Savior who leads us in intercession for the rebels. He doesn't hate rebels choosing rebellion. He loves them so much that He humbly prays for them. He loves them so much that He valiantly fights the darkness for them. He loves them so much that their sin, their curse, their humiliation is all His, should they trust that He is who He says He is. The rebels fight against Him, but Jesus leads with a powerful peace, a forceful love, a striking mercy. He is good - infinitely good. Good.

He is good. He received our 39 lashes. He was led through the streets in mockery. He stood before councils, governors, and kings in condemnation. He wore our crown of jagged thorns. He accepted our bruises, cuts, jabs, gashes, insults, punches, pushes, and curses. He carried our cross. He accepted our nails through His hands and His feet. He accepted abject humiliation by hanging on our cross and carrying the weight of our sin. He was placed in our tomb. He laid in our tomb and descended to the place of the dead. All the while He interceded for us.

It wasn't over. He defeated our death in a powerful blow! He rose from our grave! He initiated our new life! He appeared to many people like us who assumed He was dead. He blessed them, He taught them, He commissioned them. He went to Heaven for us, but He sent His Spirit to continue blessing us, teaching us, commissioning us. All the while He intercedes for us. By the power of His Spirit our trust that He is who He says He is results in the defeat of death in our lives. We raise from the graves! We receive new life! We bless, teach, and commission. Then we go to Heaven to be with Him - forever!

So, Jesus interceded for me. I am not a rebel. He still intercedes for me. He still intercedes for us. He loves us. He pursues us. Surely goodness and mercy will follow us - will hunt us down as in war, like the Hebrew word for "follow" says there - all the days of our lives. All the days. He hunts us rebels down with His love, His goodness, His mercy. We don't have to rebel. I am not a rebel. All because of His intercession. I am redeemed. All because of His intercession. I can sing the song of the redeemed that even the angels in heaven cannot sing. All because of His intercession. I see Jesus, high and exalted, and bow down to worship Him forever! PRAISE HIM FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!!

House

Okay, so I'm not having any luck posting the picture. I've done this before, but I'm not cluing into the problem yet.... Anyway, it has three bedrooms (good for hosting...), two bathrooms, a big kitchen and living room, dining area, den, office/fourth bedroom, deck, woodstove, etc. There's a walk-in closet in the master bedroom that has a window in it! It's only four years old, one owner, so it's in great shape. Anyway, if you don't see the picture, just click on the area where the picture should be. It will show up.

Where We Are

Most of you don't know that we're missing, but some of you who live close to us realize we're AWOL. We're at our in-laws' house right now. We were supposed to be home from house shopping on Wednesday, but we ran into a snag. Yes, our car broke down. As in, broke down, unable to run, smoke coming from various points of the car. The Lord, being the Lord, provided a ride to our in-laws within ten minutes, with a man who needed to hear about Jesus. :) (He thought we needed the same; what fun JWs are!) So, we rode for two hours with a new friend who has a lot to think about. Before the breakdown our in-laws already planned on giving us their car for our house hunt, while they arranged to have ours fixed. They got more than they bargained for, since they were the ones who went up to get the car, bring it back here, and oversee the repairs. Basically, the car needs a new engine. Entirely new engine. It was supposed to be done yesterday, but there were complications. Now we're on day 2, not knowing when the car will be done, not knowing when we're going home. (We're counting on today.) I'm glad the Lord doesn't need me at work to provide for us. I'm also glad we have understanding supervisors back home.

In other news, we think we found a house. I'll try to post a picture of it in a minute.

Monument

May last night be a monument in my life! This is a powerful testimony that I'm blessed and encouraged to write. Please read it and rejoice with me in the power of Christ!

Last night we met with some good friends at the church. The topic wasn't necessarily clear, nor was there immediate resolve. However, my sister in Christ looked at me right before we dismissed and said, "There's something welling up in you. You have some bitterness, and the Lord wants to deal with it." I agreed because we had prayed before the meeting, believing that God would bring out what needed to be brought out. It felt hard to hear, but I assumed the Lord must have given her that impression. I reflected on it prayerfully on the way home.

Earlier in the day I felt the Lord telling me I had some bitterness, so what happened last night only confirmed it. I confessed my bitterness over the phone to a pastor and agreed to spend some time in prayer with Natasha about it. I prayed by myself and also found some written prayers. The Lord led me into a long prayer of confession, followed by a prayer of forgiveness and release for my immediate bitterness. This was all good.

Then the Lord showed me a prayer for forgiveness of my parents in the prayer book. I decided to go through it. It became very emotional for me, but it was spiritually freeing, to say the least! I never imagined that halfway through the prayer I would end up being delivered of some major bitterness toward my family, but that's how God works. He is so good to uncover things that would otherwise threaten relationships among our family and between God and me! His faithfulness is a huge blessing! I'm sure the Lord has more work to do, but I want to establish what happened last night as a memorial in my spiritual journey. Regardless of what else the Lord brings me through, even with my family, I stand firmly in the strong freedom of Christ, released from bitterness and having released my family (and friend) from my control. Praise the Lord!

Some Things

1) Psalm 22 changed my outlook on the Lord this week. I want to post my entire exegesis on it, but that would be too long. Let's just say that Jesus makes a lot more sense, as do David and the Father. Praise Him!! His answers are so perfect and beyond us, even when we think He's answering our immediate need.

2) Our car needs replaced. Lord, let it happen soon! (This will be a miracle, but I assume that's on its way.)

3) You must check this out. Heather sent it to me, and I'm very happy she did. It's a great symposium of much of my life. (Note: For those who are used to my piety, please know that this is extremely lighthearted.)

4) Alex wants me to register to vote. I'm all about that. But he wants me to register Republican. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. If I'm Republican, that means letting go of a lot of things. So would being Democrat. Since few people take Independents seriously, I'm in a bit of a quandary. If you have intelligent things to offer (not ignorance, slander, libel, or spiritual judgmentalism), I'd welcome the wisdom.

5) Did you check this out yet? I wasn't kidding. Very good.

International

Sometimes it's strange to think about international families. Natasha and I will most likely have to move before Christmas so that we have time with the Erskines/Bennetts in Delaware before we're officially on at IBC for January 2. We've been looking into flights and whatnot for that, realizing that a flight from Halifax to Baltimore really is international. We've also been dealing with Natasha's financial aid and have to drive to Perth-Andover or Woodstock tomorrow as a result. The US and Canada don't usually feel international. If it weren't for the customs station, the road in front of our house would continue east and drop us in Perth-Andover after awhile. When we fly down at Christmas, we're going to follow the same coast. The political boundaries aren't visible in the air. It all looks like one piece of land. You don't even realize you're not looking at Canada anymore until Boston comes into view from the air. Is it strange that it doesn't feel international? What does this communicate, if anything, about the identities of our countries?

(Note: There will be something new on our food blog soon. We're not home enough to cook, which is sad. However, breakfast this morning was startlingly good.)

Marriage Free from Self-Defense

Our lives don't leave much blogging time lately, but I would say I'm MUCH more of a Blogger than a MySpacer. I've appreciated MySpace for its quick and easy connection to friends I haven't seen or heard from in YEARS. However, I could never get over the ads that I find on everyone's sites. I have told few people about my MySpace because I'm not proud of the ads. (In fact, I joined just to stay in moderate contact with my brother.) I e-mailed the imfamous "Tom" about the singles ads, but I never heard back. I could find no way to block them. Then it happened.

One night when I had just submitted a message, a confirmation page came up, on which was displayed a singles ad. Natasha walked in the room and asked, "What in the world are you looking at?" I told her I was on MySpace and explained the advertisement situation. She said she trusted me, and we were fine.

That really ate at me. My wife trusts me a lot. A whole lot. She loves me unconditionally. Yet, she came in the room when an ad from my own website was showing, and she wondered if that were about to unravel. Why do I want to give my wife any reason to suspect me, even if that comes through a seemingly innocent site? How innocent is a site that allures people to looking at covered women, only to tempt them to go the next step, then the next, then the next? Why am I hosting a website with images I don't condone and won't send people to see? Why do I want to remain part of a site that is likely to reproduce the scenario above the next time Natasha walks in the room and sees an ad she's not seen before? I have a marriage free of self-defense. We are, in a sense, naked and unashamed before each other. I have no desire to see that destroyed.

Moral: I'm leaving MySpace as soon as the bulletin I just sent reaches all of my friends (or within 72 hours, whichever I feel like doing at the time).

Catching Up

If you haven't caught up with us in awhile (or maybe even if you have), here's something new for you: Natasha and I are moving to Truro, Nova Scotia. We have been in contact with Immanuel Baptist for several weeks, feeling the obvious hand of God on us for most of that time. The Lord is leading us back into worship ministry, as we wondered if He was doing back when Moe came to town (see post from last March). There are so many unknowns here, but the One we know overcomes all that. Please pray with us for that transition; we are meant to begin on January 2, 2007. These are EXTREMELY exciting times!!

Testimonies

There are way too many testimonies to write in one blog when I'm already too tired to be awake. It's just that I'm too humbly blessed not to blog right now! I miss blogging, and I miss the blogging community, but there is so much going on right now! I'll put a few things:

1) In addition to receiving occasional songs from the Lord, I've had a lot of opportunity to do prophetic worship lately. It's been a blessing I never expected to receive!

2) The men's prayer summit was earth-shattering for me. Among other things, I spilled my entire life story to several men (even the dark, dirty stuff), believed someone for the first time when they said they loved me, prayed over many men, was prayed over by many men, received more rhema word from the Lord than ever before, etc., etc., etc.

3) The Lord has given me a new glimpse of His plan for me. More on that when I've actually communicated personally with some people close to me who don't blog. (You know, I just don't want my blogging friends to tell my family or close friends about the biggest things in my life.) No, we're not pregnant.

4) I'm just different. I know it. I mean, I'm the same, but I'm really not. It's incredible. Please, with everything in you, chase after Jesus with everything in you. Don't give up because you're tired. Don't give up because you hear the enemy of your soul roaring. Jesus is so powerful, loving, caring, challenging, and perfect. He's transparent and humble. He's welcoming and personal. He's great and mighty. He's more than all these things, and you know you want to know Him. Don't judge Him by me or by any other person who says they know Him. Get to know Him very well and go from there.

Giving Glory

(If you hate moose, don't read the first paragraph.)

First, I have seen three moose in the past 48 hours. I told the Lord I'd give Him glory if I saw one back in July. Now I've seen three. Three! THREE!!! Two of them were bulls, both of whom were running across the road in front of me when I saw them. Those two were during the day. The one I saw in Bridgewater this morning actually stopped and stayed just off the side of the road so I could watch him as I drove by. He wasn't as big as the first bull. The other moose was actually the first one I saw. We were driving home the other night when we passed Myrtle Tree (see flower pics in my flickr thing). Standing off the side of the road eating leaves was a cow moose. She was gone when I turned around to show Natasha. Still, it was a moose!

Second, the Lord is amazing to speak His Word to us faithfully! I was having one of those flesh-vs-spirit times earlier today while listening to CFNI's most recent CD. ("Unto the Lamb" is just as good on the CD, in my opinion, as on the DVD.) The worship leader said, "Whomever the Son has set free is free indeed." The rhema Word of God rushed into my spirit like a whirlwind. I thought, "Yes. Free indeed." Then I spoke it out loud. My disappointment fled, and I knew the Word had been spoken so I could revel in God's freedom. I'm growing in that freedom every day. Sometimes I'm tempted to think I'm not free because I don't look like Pastor X or church-goer Y. Then the Lord reminds me that our salvation isn't about levels and lines to cross. To the contrary, it's about knowing Him more everyday. Do I know Him as completely as I can right now? I think so. Do I know Him as completely as I "should?" Probably not. Yet, somehow, He's okay with me. He loves me still. He's still faithful to speak His rhema Word to me, the kind of Word that is used in Ephesians 6 in the spiritual armor passage (thanks, Beth Moore, for pointing that out to me). We don't have to ask, "Lord, I'm not far enough or good enough, am I?" because He is enough. We don't have to be. He is the level of holiness. We don't have to reach one. He is our portion. We don't have to claim any. He is our riches. We don't have to gain any. He is our beauty. We don't have to achieve any. He is our strength. We don't have to grasp for it. He is our wisdom. We don't have to study for more. He is our everything. We don't have to look for anything else.

Gold

I found out today that gold refined to its absolute purest form is clear like glass. Aside from being a completely cool fact and something beautiful I'd like to see, I think I have a new life goal. The Bible prompts my prayer for the Lord to refine me like gold. My new life goal is that I would be so refined that I would be clear. That way when people look at me they would see through me to Christ!

Something About Marriage

This has been an insane week. I was prepared for my classes to start, but I was not prepared for heavy projects due in the first days of class. I was prepared for a heavy workweek, but I was not prepared for the effect of the long hours on my body. Nor was I prepared for the effect that both things would have on my marriage this week. Don't get me wrong; Natasha is being extremely gracious. My complaint is really with myself. Sometimes when you're married you know you're doing things that aren't helpful to oneness (like working a night shift only to stay up studying afterward). Then you miss your spouse a lot. You don't say anything, though, because your longing just for a brief conversation is your own fault, and you don't need to dump on your spouse.

That's the thing about marriage, though. Communicating what you think and feel is much better than holding it in because you're hurt or your spouse is hurt. Sometimes you have to feel, even embrace, the hurt to get anywhere. When you've married someone you can trust, you can hurt with them without fear of what may happen when you share your wounded heart. It is a great feeling! (And, for what it's worth, this is another reason why a good marriage is a good analogy for the God - human relationship.)

Tenth

We recently had to translate Isaiah 6 from Hebrew into English for our "Exegesis of Isaiah" class. The assignment was my first big translating effort since I took Hebrew last fall. In 6:13 we read about a tenth of the people returning to the land. The Hebrew word was literally translated "tenth." I haven't done much translation of the whole Old Testament (yet), but the "tenth" stuck out to me. The other place the Hebrews talked about a "tenth" was in their tithing system. Could there be any connection between the "tenth" of the people who would return to the land and the "tenth" that would be offered to the Lord?

Rising to the Challenge

The Lord will rise to any challenge. I've seen it many times in other people, but I was blown away when He did it with me yesterday.

Natasha and I talked about my vision for ministry the other day, when she remarked that I should have a very clear vision of God's plan for me before I embark on any intensive ministry. At the time I told her I was resolute that God was behind my motivation for ministry. I told her that He was forming my vision. I also told her I'd give it a lot of thought. That "thought" quickly turned to prayer.

I couldn't imagine why the Lord would birth something so deeply in my heart without giving me something tangible to express. It was as if I had dreams and visions for ministry, but they were somehow obscured. Thus, I challenged the Lord. I asked Him to renew my mind, to help me verbalize a vision this week before my vision had the opportunity to be defined by other people's practices and ideals. It happened as I was e-mailing a pastor friend of mine. Suddenly everything I had seen in my heart and mind since the Lord dramatically revived my heart of worship last March (see the archives) flowed out of me into a three-tiered vision of worship ministry. Puzzle pieces came into place. The storyline flowed. And all this without me "thinking." (That's for you, Natasha and Scott.) :)

Why is this such a big deal? If you know my testimony, then you know I've struggled for years with worship/music ministry. I've had little interest in promoting myself or my vision because of 2 Cor 10:18: "When people commend themselves, it doesn't count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them." Why should my ministry be about me, my talents, or my anointing? It should be about the Lord, so I refused to move ahead until He moved me. That started last spring and has continued ever since. Now I'm in a spiritual crucible in which He's refining what He started years ago - visions, dreams, anointing, call, etc. And I am blessed!

"Praise unto the Lamb who sits on the throne! Honor and power, dominion and praise unto the Lamb who was and is and is to come!" (From "Unto the Lamb," Christ for the Nations)

Fall

There's something about the fall that just feels right. It may be how the breeze blows more softly after the humidity snaps out of the air. It may be the way you can sit tacitly with a cup of green tea, staring out your picture window, watching the green world become a canvas of color. It may be the way everyone returns from their vacations, kids are back in school, and life retains a semblance of normality. Whatever it is, I love the fall.

Woman

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Men tend to think in their caves, while women tend to feel in their wells.

These are gross generalizations that I'm going to rail against so that I feel less like a woman with the picture I'm about to post.

Yes, I love the movie "Pride and Prejudice." I do. It's well done. It's the quintessential "chick flick," except that it's a cultural experience rather than a teeny-bopper B-film. The music is tops, as is the acting. The story is beautiful, and I love the characters. Reason 1) Piano music. I totally bought the soundtrack today. 2) Natasha and I are a lot like Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy. (Pride and stubbornness run rampant in our home, all under the guise of doing the right thing.) :) 3) Natasha and I are deeply in love, whether we admit it or whether we fight. No matter what, we are deeply, madly in love. In those times when we "fight" we still love one another deeply enough that the passion in the fight is actually a passion of love. In those times when we enjoy one another, it's as if the entire world fades away (think the dancing scene). With our families we think only about one another. And it was the realization of both our prides that brought us together in the end (November for me, for example. Elizabeth hip-checked me into Natasha on the way back from Grand Manan because I wouldn't talk to her otherwise. Thanks, Elizabeth!) I feel overwhelmingly happy, delightfully romantic, perfectly happy ever time I think about my Mrs. Erskine. Mrs. Erskine. Mrs. Erskine.

The Clincher

Job 42:5: "I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes."

Until we see Him with our own eyes there is something missing in our experience with God. We can hear about Him, think about Him, understand our thoughts about Him, compartmentalize our experiences, and claim our innocence as good people just like Job did. Job, who was considered one of the wisest and best godly men on earth, had only heard of God to that point. He had all the answers, which he gave throughout the book. When confronted with God, however, he realized he knew nothing. God is so much more than we can think up, dream up, conceive, understand, or feel. What are you doing to seek Him - to see Him?

I Think He Gets It

A lot is communicated when Job 32 says Elihu did not speak until everyone older than him finished speaking. It communicates value to those with more life experience. It communicates listening skills that wait for everyone to finish speaking. It communicates a desire to understand Job and his three friends. It communicates great wisdom on Elihu's part. It communicates that age is no necessary indicator of wisdom, knowledge, or godliness.

It should come as no surprise, then, that Elihu is the closest to understanding God in the book to this point. Job understands God, but he definitely accuses God of many things. He genuinely thinks God made Job an enemy. The three friends obviously do not get it because, like Job, they take the sowing and reaping principle to an extreme. Elihu begins angrily because none of the older, would-be wiser gentlemen are giving God His due honor. Elihu reminds us that sowing and reaping are part of life, while God seeks to rescue from much of what we've sown! Elihu rightly observes that God isn't happy about Job's condition; He wants to rescue Job from it. However, Job didn't wait. Job complained from day one. Though he never turned against God, his complaints and mutterings accused God unwisely.

I thought the book of Job was about suffering at one point in my life. If Elihu is as wise as he seems so far, that isn't the case. The book is about grace. God let Satan wreak havoc around Job and eventually to Job. Nevertheless, God preserved Job's life. God had the rescue for Job, even when Job complained and demanded God's justice on his own terms (as Elihu pointed out). Our just God listened to the complaints and preserved Job's life anyway. (After all, if Satan sought to get Job while he was righteous, I imagine he sought to kick Job while he was down and end that life. God said, "No." That conversation in the throne room is just not recorded.) God not only had a just plan; He would use it. That would come after Job learned some valuable lessons that should teach us a thing or two. In suffering what is our response? Do we complain? If so, we're being honest. But are we demanding justice on our own terms? Are we questioning God's ability to hold us in His hands? Are we accusing Him of turning against us? In suffering are we open conduits for God's grace?

What a Day!

1) I had an extremely long shift at Sears today: 10:00 a.m. till 7:30 p.m. Ordinarily this would have been great. No opening, no closing. Just prime selling hours. Unfortunately, I've seen more action in an art museum. Fortunately, the Lord is providing for us and not my job. :) Who needs a big sales day?

2) The real reason for this post and the reason I wanted to blog tonight is because the superiority of the Canadian banking system to the American banking system was proven again today. Prior to our most recent trip to Nova Scotia, Natasha and I juggled numbers and set ourselves up with an emergency (tiny) line of credit (more for when we got back than for the trip itself). This was intended to protect us in case our balance dropped below "$0." (It was like overdraft protection.) I was approved on the 25th, so I signed the documents at the branch in town as we left for Canada. We were blessed with an amazing weekend (more to follow on this weekend on another day - or on MySpace). We spent money normally. We came back. I paid beaucoups bills! Natasha went to Subway with Rebeckah and had to bum money because our card was suddenly no good. You know, the card with which I withdrew $20 this morning (indicating my low balance). I was picked up from work and tried my card at the nearest branch of our US bank. "Invalid card," read the screen. So I called Jacqueline at our bank call center.

Jacqueline was very helpful. She said that the card was invalid because we would have a negative balance. She helped me realize that the bank that approved my emergency line of credit had no record of it anywhere else. After 15 minutes of my trying to explain that I really know what's going on in my banking world (and being on hold), her supervisor said that they could detect some traces of my banking history over the weekend. Still, they couldn't find an account number with my name on it anywhere - four days later! So, Jacqueline and I sat on the phone as she told me that she had no record that I had been approved, signed for, and spent into a line of credit. Yet I did all weekend up till today, from the moment I signed the papers in person at a branch less than 20 minutes away.

Here's the kicker. After further investigation Jacqueline told me the whole trouble started with my HOME branch. They put a hold on my account because they have no idea why we have spent so much money in the last several days. My home branch that literally said on the phone that I would have to go to town to sign because their branch would close too early for me to get there. My home branch that sent my information to the other branch so that I could complete the approval. My home branch that regularly calls and exchanges business with their sister branch in town. My home branch with whom I communicated that we would be traveling. Yes, my home branch. They put a hold on the card so that it will ring up "invalid" until I go personally and see them to explain why I think it's okay to spend beyond "$0." I think I'll remind them that they sent my information and approved me. (Oh, and I work days this week, so I can't go see them because they're open from 9:00 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. daily.)

Believe me, this is more funny than it sounds. Even Jacqueline asked me why I wasn't angry. I'm not angry because the Holy Spirit is in control of my life. I'm also not angry because until now the American banking experience has been too smooth. :) I miss RBC!!!!

3) Natasha was blatantly hit on today. Bigtime. More on that on her blog....

What Took Him So Long?

It should be clear by now that I think Job had reason to complain. I've only posted a few times about this, but Job was up against a LOT! I, frankly, would have complained more than Job. I would have had much more to say to my friends. One thing I wonder tonight: why did it take so long for Job to address God personally? He said on many occasions, "I question God," or, "I call to God," but it wasn't until 30:20 that the cries became personal. He says, "I cry out to You, O God." He referenced God. He complained about God. He accused God. Yet it wasn't until the conversation was almost over that Job finally addressed God. And God was the One who would listen! Before I get to hard on Job I should admit that I often think about turning to God long before I do it aloud. Here, everyone, is the key to honesty with the Lord in prayer. It's not only turning to God; it's turning quickly to God aloud. Even if you're alone. Aloud. Try it and let us all know how it goes.

What Bildad Missed

Job was ticked. There's no point in fantasizing; he was upset about his condition. I would have been, too. Having seven children, my livelihood, and my health completely taken away, only to be left with a nagging, impious wife, would be trying. So Job complained. Job's friends, who approached him originally to comfort him, began chastising him. Chastisement is unnecessary, especially when someone really needs God's comfort communicated.

Bildad was one of the chastising friends. I was reading Bildad's remarks earlier and I realized something. Bildad was partially correct. In his first address to Job, Bildad told Job that he had nothing to say to God because humans life on earth is a breath compared to God's eternal reality. True. He also said that Job needs to remember that God knows our every deed. True again. What did he miss?

Bildad missed something very important that would have put some needed truth into the chastisement. He didn't miss the fact that God knew about Job - what Job did. He missed the fact that God knew Job - who Job was. And Job knew God. They were friends. If Bildad would have delivered his opening argument and turned to remind Job that God knew him, both gentlemen may have had revival. (Isn't it powerful? God, who is infinitely more than anything we conceive knows us intimately!) But Bildad missed the boat. He forgot that even in the Old Testament God knew people.

He walked with Adam in the cool of the day. He bickered with Abram over the fate of Sodom. He gently whispered to Elijah. Were Job to stop his complaining and speak with a positive mental attitude, he would have been like a white-washed tomb: dead with his complaints on the inside, bright with his words on the outside. Instead Job was honest with God. Job felt the complaints, and he said them. He treated God like a friend, even he didn't feel like God's friend. He felt beaten up by God, but he didn't cut God off. Who among us is courageous enough to be completely honest with God? If we do that, doesn't that open us up to God's response?

Under Attack

For those spiritual fanatics (like myself) out there, this is actually not about spiritual warfare. Natasha and I actually had a very relaxing walk earlier today. We both had the day "off," so the walk was part of our plan to do nothing. Ordinarily the railroad path made ATV trail behind our home makes for an uneventful walk aside from the occasional loon or bald eagle. Today was another story....

Today Natasha and I had a showdown with a skunk. A real skunk. The kind of skunk that had enough power in its tail to make up for its size disadvantage. There we were, walking back toward the house when we noticed him. He was no bigger than a small cat, except his tail. I might not have noticed him, but Natasha said, "Uh-oh," and his tail went up in warning. Now we all know that animals react like that when they are scared. Or at least that's what our mothers told us. This one may have been scared, but that tail up was a warning. We stopped dead in our tracks, but our pursuer pushed forward.

I began planning our not-too-hasty retreat when I noticed something. Our skunk friend was looking for a way off the path. He didn't want to cross paths any more than we did. The trouble was, we were in a heavily planted area. He couldn't find an escape! So there we were - us and Saul the Skunk. Saul, nosing along for an escape, moving closer and closer to us with his ominous tail. We, standing still as if we weren't 30 times this animal's size, knowing that anything we did to defend ourselves would result in a tomato soup bath.

I took a step back when Saul came within ten feet of us. Saul, however, had found his exit! He went into the brush to the side of the trail. Natasha and I looked at one another and I asked, "Should we run?" Natasha, who had by this time stepped behind me in bravery, agreed. With all the courage of two brave warriors under attack, we ran past Saul's exit, lest he lay in ambush. We were not sprayed today.

Maintaining the Image

This goes out to my small group, though I doubt any of you really know I have a blog, let alone read it. :)

We talked the other night about the difference between King Saul and young David. Saul was all about protecting his reputation. He had an image to maintain after all! David, on the other hand, did not allow his drive for a good reputation to drive him. There is a psalm of David that I think lets us into David's heart: Psalm 37. These two verses give a unique insight:

"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun" (Psalm 37:5-6).

David didn't worry about protecting himself because he committed everything he did to the Lord. Everything. Even his physical life!

So what about us? How do we maintain our image? No one wants a damaged reputation. You never know when someone might tell you that you've failed as a friend, a family member, a Christian, a minister, or whatever! You will be tempted in those times to protect yourself, to defend your cause. Like David, commit everything you do to the Lord. TRUST HIM. TRUST HIM. TRUST HIM. It is HE who will make your innocence radiate, HE who will make your just heart shine. (And if you're not innocent or just, it is HE who can work that in you before you get defensive, proving you're not innocent or just.)

Back to the Bible

1) Even if you don't like the Bible, do yourself a favor and read Esther. The story is extremely well-written.

2) How can we read passages like 1 Corinthians 12 without reevaluating how we operate as a church? The passage clearly indicates a variety of spiritual gifts given by the Holy Spirit, according to the Spirit's own unction (my favorite Scott word that fits perfectly here). The passage indicates that we all have the Spirit's gifts so that we can exercise them for the Spirit's use in the Spirit's church. The passage compares all of us with our various gifts to our bodies, which have various parts all used together to operate as one body. It asks what good our bodies would be without some of those smaller, less dignified parts. Two thoughts...

2a) How can we ever separate ourselves from ANYONE in our churches? Even those people who require extra grace are given the Spirit's gifts and grace for the good of us all. Spiritual gifts are not given based on maturity, age, income, experience, intelligence, or physical attributes. They are given as the Spirit sees fit. As the Spirit sees fit. However the Spirit sees fit.

2b) Who are we to decide what is and what is not a spiritual gift for our church and time? Who are we to decide whether a gift is helpful for the faith? If gifts are given as the Spirit sees fit, then any gifts we experience are a benefit (whether or not we understand that). It should be said that gifts exercised in ecstasy under our own unction have led many of us to question the inexplicable gifts. Some even think that prophecy, healing, tongues, and interpretation are not for us at all. They are for us now. They are not to be abused, nor are they to be surpressed. Nor will they be surpressed among Spirit-filled people in Spirit-filled churches. We have yet to see what a Spirit-filled people in a Spirit-filled church really looks like. (Perhaps we should put as much time into seeking the Lord as we put into our attempts to understand the mysteries of the Holy Spirit, explaining Him away.)

Indescribable

The Lord is leading me through something indescribable right now. Indescribable is quite something for me, one who talks a lot and uses words fairly well. This isn't just a phase of being speechless; it's a phase of knowing something is going on without being able to articulate it. I wonder if I even recognize it completely. There seems to be a fullness inside me. A peace. A firmness.

Yet, my emotions and mind are in a whirlwind lately. How am I ever going to minister in a church if Natasha can't minister, too? (Her anointing is clearer by the day!) How are we going to pay for college and minimize our debts? What happens if my sales at work are really low in a pay period? What if the Lord is really leading us somewhere unfamiliar in January? I feel excited, anxious, happy, sad, connected, lonely, etc., etc., etc.

What gives? What am I sharing all this? It's to say that the Lord is supremely good. The Rhynos heard me emoting the other night, asking why I feel settled and unsettled at the same time. They said, "You're relying on the Lord." Right. My eyes are fixed on Jesus. I've been this way before, but it seems as though I'm really fixed on Him anew. It feels like something I haven't done before. (I've always had a plan "B" before, too!) It feels safe, even though I shouldn't feel safe logically. If I were reading this instead of writing it, I'd say that the writer might be insane. I'm not. The Lord is just good. Very good. He's keeping me steady, drawing me to Him, while things around me make little sense and don't fit together well. I love HIM!!

He Heard Me

I am overwhelmed with humility and gratitude as I write this very brief post. I feel like David when he wrote, "I waited patiently for the Lord and He heard my cry."

Today I came across a dear friend who asked me directly, "I was praying for you yesterday, and the Lord revealed something to me." My friend told me a heart cry Natasha and I have shared for a little while. I've only recently recognized that my heart has been crying to the Lord, so it's understandable how shocked I was to hear that my friend knew what was on my heart. I choked up for a second or two and thanked God. He really did hear my heart cry. I wasn't even uttering the words, "Lord, we need You," but He heard my heart crying anyway. He loves us. We waited patiently for Him, and He heard us. He listened to us. He reminded us through a friend, "Hey, you two. I'm here. Right here beside you. Loving you." He's good. Unfailingly good. I'm in love with my God, my Rock, my Treasure, my Friend, my Beloved, my Faithful One, my God Who Listens, my God Who Understands, my God Who Doesn't Need My Verbal Words to Love Me.

A Big Difference

There's a big difference between affirmation from the Lord and affirmation from the world. The world measures affirmation against things like performance and achievement. For example, I received some very positive affirmation from some coworkers recently regarding the sales God has provided and my transition into that job. For most people that would seem very good - at first. At the risk of walking a very fine line with cynicism here, I didn't really appreciate the positive affirmation I received at work. I was affirmed for high sales because I was making the company more money. I was affirmed for my credit performance because I was making the company more money. I was encouraged to increase my PA (work term) percentage so that I could make the company more money. One coworker has been friendly to me since I've taken people through the end of a sale that he started because I'm making him more money. Another coworker pulled me aside to provide some coaching because he wanted to be sure that the money distribution was fair. Understand me; big numbers and making money aren't the issue here. The issue is that affirmation based on money, numbers, performance, and achievement is empty. VERY empty. (It's one thing I'll never miss about the admissions world, though BBC was good about affirming spiritual development on most occasions.) When the Lord affirms He does it in a way that makes you feel full. He reminds you that He's right there, that He's the one behind the performance, that He's the one driving you to achieve. The things we achieve with the Lord have eternal value. The Lord isn't as fleeting as business, numbers, and "obvious" achievement. He is eternal; His is our yesterday, our today, our forever; He is perfectly consistent (though very unpredictable). I LOVE HIM!!!!!

Songs of Victory

In Psalm 32:7 David writes, "You surround me with songs of victory." That phrase really stuck out to me this morning because of its profound truth. From the moment we begin trusting in Christ, we have victory. Being "born again" (obtaining new life in Jesus Christ) gives victory over death, for starters. What does our baptism represent, if not burial in the likeness of His death and resurrection in the likeness of His eternal life? That's victory!

But it doesn't stop there; we continue in victory all the time. Think about the physical victory so many of us have. Lor, for example, was just healed. I caught her running eleven miles on my way to work last week! Many of us also experience emotional victory because God is more powerful than our past hurt! We continually experience spiritual victory, too, as the Holy Spirit changes us from someone walking around in filthy rags of past sin, pain, and emotional scars (Zech 3) into someone who is characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:22-23)! Or someone who can be characterized by gifts of prophecy, teaching, healing, tongues, interpretation, hospitality, exhortation, wisdom, love, or whatever! It's just like Jesus said; we walk in victory doing even greater things than we saw recorded in His Word (by Him, of course).

What about those times when we don't really feel victorious or when we don't have a victorious testimony to share? No problem. "The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Yes, the Lord surrounds us with songs of victory that HE sings over us. The Lord of the universe, singing over us. That's victory!

Back at Ezra

Ezra was almost a humbling priest. Here's a man who, in Ezra 8, follows through with his plans to leave the king's court in Persia, where he had a LOT of favor. He left there without added protection, confident that the Lord would come through for them all. He arrived in Jerusalem full of praise. Yet, when it is apparent that the remnant had become enmeshed with their ungodly neighbors, Ezra began to pray. He didn't pray against "them" or about "them"; instead he prayed, "our sins are piled high" (Ezra 9:8). "Our." He hadn't done anything wrong, but he remained in mourning because the nation had sinned. He took responsibility and brought everything before the Lord. He followed Paul's example in 1 Cor 5, when he told the church to judge the Christians inside it. In his judgment, Ezra realized the unity of those in the faith. "Their" sin was his. Isn't it the same for us? Shouldn't we look around our Christian communities to identify with the other believers? Isn't "their" sin ours because we're all one in the body of Christ? What about "their" joy? Ours. What about "their" emotions, "their" thoughts, "their" illnesses? All ours. Lord, may we love you and our brothers and sisters like Ezra must have - because you are good!

Ezra Must Have Felt This Way

God's Temple

The Jews spent so much time rebuilding the Temple after they returned from exile in ancient Babylon. Even after they were instructed to stop the building by the Persian king Artaxerxes, the group continued the project under king Darius (as originally intended by king Cyrus). Four kings ruled Persia in the time it took the group to finish the project! Nevertheless, their commitment did not wane, and their excitement to dedicate the Temple was high.

What can we say about our commitment to the Lord's Temple? Paul tells us that 1) our bodies are the Temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19), and 2) all of us together are the Temple of God (1 Cor3:16). Most of us are at least conscious of the need to serve God with our physical bodies. Yet, few of us take care to build up God's Temple in terms of unity in the Christian community. "Christian" is becoming more a political agenda in some hearts than it is an opportunity to live together as one. If we, together, are all God's Temple, made up of the various parts, how can the Temple be complete without each part? How can we remain content with the handful of church friends we have and go on living our lives as normal? How can we remain content with a Church (universal believers, not a particular sect) that experiences hurt, unhealed wounds, even persecution in some areas of the world? How can we remain content with a theology that centers around our experience in church and what God does for us, when there are literally millions of us around the world who, together, can point the lot of us to the Father? How can we remain content with building up others with positive words without challenging one another with God's truth (rather than opinions)? How can we be content with a Temple that has a few bricks (people) missing along the way instead of sharing the Good News with people who should be part of God's glorious Temple?

Good

Good, so good, the theme of my heart in You.
Good, so good, the theme of Your love for me.

Every time I look I see Your goodness, nothing but goodness.
You're good in so many ways, more ways than I can count.

Your goodness flows from You like a waterfall.
Your goodness surges forth like a rishing wind.
Your goodness plays through my life like a young child in the tall grass.

It's good to see You, to feel Your peace, to share Your love.
It's good to hear You, to know Your mind, to follow Your plans.
It's good to taste You, to speak Your name, to drink Your Spirit.
It's good to smell You, to abide in Your presence, to breathe Your life.
It's good to touch You, to sense You near, to serve only You.

You're my good Creator, my good King, my good Master, my good Brother, my good Father, my good Savior, my good Judge, my good Defender, my good Guide, my good Enabler, my good Empowerer, my good Thoughts, my good Speech, my good Word, my good Protector, my good Author, my good Finisher, my good Humility, my good Love, my good Faithfulness, my good Gentleness, my good Joy, my good Peace, my good Self-Control, my good Patience, my good Kindness, my good Mountaintop, my good Resting Place, my good Shelter, my good Light, my good Provider, my good Musician, my good Everything.

A rainbow of Your goodness colors my life.
Your blood to cover my sin and embarrassment.
Your Holy Spirit fire to ignite my new life in You.
Your sining light that reveals all truth.
Your peaceful pastures in which I feed on You.
Your crystal sea on which I have eternal lakefront property.
Your royal robes to declare a welcome eternal reign.

Your good healing means I am whole in mind, body, emotions, spirit, and will.
Your good mercy means You let me come to You.
Your good grace means You call me good, too.

You are good. Good.

Good.

Two Verses Worth Meditation

My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me."
And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."
(Psalm 27:8)

Yet I am confident I will see the Lord's goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
(Psalm 27:13)

The Lord Will Choose

King David had many enemies in his rise to power and during his kingship. On many occasions one could find the good king praying that God would choose between himself and his enemies. Even on the two occasions in which David could have killed Saul easily, he always told the people with him, "No. God will choose who is faithful between us." I recently prayed something similar when confronted with a spiritual battle at work. Someone with whom I got along relatively well was becoming an enemy below the surface. We still worked together, but I could sense his spirit battling mine, sometimes manifesting itself in outward strife. On the most severe of these occasions I left for the day praying, "Lord, I don't know if I can handle this, but I'm not going to act yet. Please humble me, as I know you're going to honor those of us who are faithful." Suddenly the coworker doesn't work with me anymore. I don't know what happened, but he's gone. I immediately thought of David, realizing that the Lord brought something to light in this situation just like He did in David's situations so many years ago. I'll never know what was brought to light, but I praise the Lord in humility that He has resolved that particular tension!

Peaceful

Being peaceful does not always mean being passive. It is rarely a sign of weakness. People who are truly peaceful have the peace of Christ, characterized by self-control and diligence to the pursuit of the mind of Christ. It inrigues me that God's presence can almost always be characterized by peace, though He never shows up without the full breadth of His power. This morning He communicated His peace to me through an incredible sunrise over the hill between here and Canada. Silver light dancing through the clouds and reflecting off the still river; bright summer green beneath an early morning mist; the occasional song of a bird who is, no doubt, exalting the Creator. Just peace. Then I read something so beautiful and powerful, a familiar verse that seemed different this morning as I rested in the peace of our Savior. "The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet" (Rom 16:20). The small glimpse of peace I saw this morning is the very power that will vanquish the enemy of our souls forever!

Hunger

I had the rare privilege of spending a LOT of time with the Lord today. I'vwe been restless all day. I woke up feeling unsatisfied. Even though everything went well, I still felt unsettled. I just couldn't put my finger on it. It was my day off, so I went to the church. I spent about five hours on the piano (some classical, some worship). There was time in the Beth Moore study, not to mention some good prayer time. Then we had small group tonight. I left small group with that same familiar unsettling feeling. Like something was amok.

Then I figured it out; the Lord is pulling away from me a little bit. He's allowed me to draw near to Him a lot lately, always being right there so I can climb up into His lap. He's taught me about drawing close to Him, and He's made me reflect on how wonderful He is! His forgiveness is fathomless; His wisdom is boundless; His love is deep; His faithfulness is unquestionable; His integrity is perfect; His righteousness is bright; His patience is enduring; His joy is contagious; His presence is intoxicating. Every day lately I've seen that glimpse. Even today I caught it. But He's drawing me somewhere. He's backing a little away from me, and I hunger for Him. I mean long. It's as if nothing is going to be exactly right until I track Him down again. I couldn't wait to get home and read the Bible and pray tonight. Even still, I know I have a little way to go. It's almost frustrating; it reminds me of when Natasha and I were engaged. We were so close, but we just couldn't wait to be together forever. That's me right now with God. I just want to be sealed with Him forever, never to have to be away from Him again! In this time of hunger, I'm remembering one thing with anticipation and thanksgiving: "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."

Bless Him!

Bending the Rules

Many of us (myself included) often thing the concept living in fulfillment of the Law is only a New Testament idea. To some extent this is true. Yet, King Hezekiah gives a fabulous example of someone who understood what the Law was really all about in 2 Chr 30. I've read the passage before but obviously forgot about it, given how surprised I was to read it this morning.

Essentially, the king decided he was going to hold the Passover celebration. However, there weren't enough priests who had purified themselves to handle a national feast of that magnitude. He had to decide, apparently, whether to cancel the celebration or to postpone it. He postponed it, despite the time appointed in God's Law (30:2-3). He even chose to send invitations to the unfaithful people of Israel many who laughed at the messengers (30:10). Nevertheless, people came from both Israel and Judah. When the day arrived, some people had to slaughter one of the Passover lambs themselves because some priests still had not purified themselves (30:15), again breaking the Law. Most of the Israelites had not purified themselves either (30:18), but Hezekiah prayed, realizing that God may pardon them (30:19). God heeded Hezekiah's prayer (30:20).

Did we get that? God, the one who seemingly flared up in anger at any breach of the Law, heeded Hezekiah's prayer. Why? God is much more interested in intimacy with His people than He is in upholding the "rules." The law of sowing and reaping meant that the people who celebrated the Law incorrectly could have reaped many dire consequences. (Perhaps they did because 30:20 indicates that God actually healed the people.) Instead, those who humbled themselves before the Lord and asked for a pardon so that they could truly worship were granted that pardon.

That smacks of Pauls sentiment in Romans 14-15. He is more concerned that we help others do what is right, building them up in the Lord (15:2), than he is about upholding any sort of Chrsitian "standard of rules." The fact is that there is no standard of rules for the Christian faith, aside from doing everything we do to glorify the Lord. Some people will take each letter of both testaments literally, practicing as much as they can. Others follow principles that follow Kingdom living (Matt 5-7). Regardless, God's principle for Christians as recorded in Romans 15:5-7 is clear in Old and New Testaments: "May God, who gives...patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory."

One Quick Thing

Allow me this personal privilege to boast in the Lord. He showed up yesterday at Community Wesleyan through His servant, Natasha. She obediently looked into Hebrews 1-2 to speak on Hebrews 2:6-8 and the Lord was powerful! I'm grateful for His truth that challenged me and so many others. I'm proud of a a wife who listens to and obeys the Lord instead of pulling out an old sermon or settling on a more popular topic. It's a word of praise that I'm grateful to give. I'm not going to enable comments on this one because none of you was there (except the Jew). If your spirit is stirred in this, then send up a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord.

It All Happened So Quickly

Have you ever experienced something spiritually after which you marvelled at how quickly everything happened? For me I can remember one of the most recent times I had to ask God specifically for His forgiveness. I had not planned on sinning, but I didn't follow a leading the Holy Spirit gave me. As a result, I ended up crying out to the Lord because I realized how far I still have to go in spiritual obedience. Though I approached the Lord with a feeling of dread, I was shocked at how quickly He turned that dread to joy, reminding me over and over again that He loves me! I think that's what it was like for Hezekiah in 2 Chr 29:36. "And Hezekiah and all the people rejoiced because of what God had done for the people, for everything had been accomplished so quickly."

It seems to me that many spiritual victories are won over time. This is certainly emphasized in the church circles in which I run. Many people don't see quick victory, so the principle has become, "Spiritual victories happen over time." This is unfortunate. Spiritual victories can happen over time. BUT we can also find ourselves like the Israelites, marveling at how quickly everything is taking place. When you pray for a vision of God, His might, His activity, His love, His forgiveness, His grace, His mercy, His movement, His whatever, pray in faith believing that He's going to do it and let Him take the time He wants. EVEN IF THAT IS VERY QUICKLY! Open your spirit to Him and let Him control what happens.

Today I pray Psalm 24:7-10 over my spirit (and yours), "Open up, ancient gates! Open up, ancient doors, and let the King of glory enter. Who is the King of glory? The Lord, strong and mighty; the Lord, invincible in battle. Open up, ancient gates! Open up, ancient doors, and let the King of glory enter. Who is the King of glory? The Lord of Heaven's Armies - He is the King of glory."

Salvation Full and Free

I've thought about salvation a lot since I've been a Christian. (Add Bible college and seminary class to the mix and I end up with more salvation thoughts than I probably need.) I'm glad to say, "I'm saved!" After all, it's because of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection that I can sit in this apartment, typing in freedom. I am assured that I will live eternally with the Lord because Jesus's bloodshed purified me, while His resurrection brought me new life! Halleljuah!

Yet, I've often pondered passages like Romans 13 (there are many) that talk about the "day of salvation." In other words, there is a future day that will come wherein we will have salvation full and free. If this is the way it's handled, can I say I'm saved? I think so. I think salvation is one of the many spiritual realities that is fulfilled already but is not yet fulfilled. (How's that for paradoxical - just like the Lord, isn't it?) I mean that the work for salvation is already done, and those who believe on the One the Father sent are participating in the work of salvation (cf. John 6:29). The fulfillment of salvation "full and free" will come on the great and terrible day of the Lord, the day of the Son of Man, the day of salvation. On that day Christ will come in final victory, and we'll be free of present struggles that seek to threaten our faith. Freedom will have new meaning when we are in heaven with glorified bodies, praying perfectly, worshiping perfectly, and living perfectly. I can't wait!!

Oh, yeah - Romans 13 also gives us some good advice. Until the day of salvation, clothe yourselves with the presence of Christ. Can God's goodness get any better? We can clothe ourselves in Christ!! (Laura, I strongly suggest that this be added to our Blessed Clothing line.)

Simple

It's simple today. I just want to praise the Lord. There were so many themes of praise in today's reading, and there are many reasons to praise Him in my personal life! He's enduringly good, so let's praise Him today. (If you read this, post at least one - you're encouraging everyone else who reads it in so doing.....)

- We stand in God's favor when we seek Him above all other things. My journey lately has been to seek Him above anything else. I'm certainly finding Him! For example, I had 22.5 hours at work this week. Just last night I sold almost $8000 worth of product. On average, that's a $300 work day! I drove home realizing that it wasn't me. That was standing in the Lord's favor after I prayed about the low hours. (Please note that God's favor CANNOT be measured by financial gain. This is about His not needing work hours to provide for our needs.)

- He speaks peace to everyone! Zechariah 9 even says that He speaks peace to the heathen; how much more peace can we experience when we dwell in His presence? I experience that peace when I reflect in His presence, looking out my back picture window with an outstanding view.

- He paves the way for His own work. I've not had to seek one opportunity yet to be a witness at work. He always puts me in the right place at the right time. He's also brought other ministry opportunities seemingly "ex nihilo."

Feeling Better

Romans 11 tells the Gentile believers not to think too highly of the fact that God had mercy on them. After all, God still loves the Jews and will bring His faithful people around. It was easy for me to read that this morning and think, "How could anyone feel better about themselves because of God's mercy? If we had His mercy, then we were living a bad enough life for that mercy to mean something."

Then I remembered a man at work who's into spirituality. He thinks we would have differences of opinion regarding organzied religion (maybe...) but metnioned his keen interest in spiritual things. I don't consciously remember feeling better than him, but there is a degree to which we Christians comfort ourselves in conversations like that with thoughts like, "Yes, but we have the truth." That is true, but we're not better than someone who misunderstands. Both of us need God's mercy, and both have it. One is taking advantage of that mercy; the other isn't yet. Christians, watch out for this prideful tendency to think how much better we are than those who still need God's mercy. If we watch ourselves, we will have compassion and an ability to do Christ's real work. Without watching ourselves, we end up doing things like forming picket lines with signs detailing our opinion of what and whom God hates.

Prayer

I'll just do a quick one today. My reflection in the Lord lately is very humbling and encouraging. It's humbling because I'm realizing more all the time the futility of my efforts at salvation. I'm not sitting around "trying" to be saved. I am saved. By "efforts at salvation" I'm referring to those things that all Christians tend to do as part of "normal" Christian living, like Bible reading, praying, remaining disciplined, sharing about God, worshiping, etc. These are all GREAT things and SHOULD be practiced regularly. However, they are futile for me right now because none of these things actually forms my salvation or even expresses it.

No, my salvation is formed by the One who made it possible - Jesus. Because He died and rose again, death is conquered, sin has no power, and I am not a slave! Even the expressions of salvation come from Him. My changed life - His. My heart of worship - His. My strength of resolve - His. My everything - His.

What I could use right now are the effective prayers of righteous people. I know I'm fine with the Lord, but I can so easily take that for granted. It turns out that the reservations I had with the church at which I interviewed are mostly reservations with myself. Though Natasha and I don't agree about the end point of the journey with this particular church, we do agree that the Lord has some MAJOR work to do in my heart if I'm ever going to be at a point of leading people into God's throne room. I'm humbled, but sometimes when I'm humble I'm not able to see how I'm going to get back up. So, pray.

Searching the Whole Earth

There's been a lot of coverage on the Holy Spirit in the Scripture readings lately. Yesterday I was reminded in Romans 8 that the Holy Spirit prays for us. Imagine that - the One whose breath gives us life prays for us. The One who can pray perfectly, whether or not His groanings can be heard or uttered by humans, is praying for us. That's empowering! As if that weren't enough, the Lord reminded me today that His Spirit searches the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are completely His (2 Chr 16:9)! The first person to whom that message was told was seeking after God and military strength. Thus, that word was meant to encourage him to place his trust fully in the Lord. It seems to me, though, that we do similar things. We place our trust in the Lord, remain faithful to Him with all the faith we can muster, and also seek our "best" interests on the side. The obvious problem with this is that our trust in the Lord isn't wholehearted if we're not trusting Him with our best interests. It encourages us that the Lord who made us is looking for faithful hearts to strengthen. He doesn't ask for our worship and leave us to figure it out alone; He strengthens us! He doesn't ask for our ministry only to sit and watch whether we can do it; He strengthens us! Yet again, the law of sowing and reaping comes into play in the common expression "Draw near to the Lord, and He will draw near to you."

Foretaste of the Future

Those of us filled with the Spirit of Christ (a.k.a. Holy Spirit) have something very unique that we don't often ponder. Romans 8 is clear that the Spirit of Christ dwelling in us is a foretaste of the future glory we'll have in eternal life with Christ. In other words, each moment we spend with the Holy Spirit points to that great time we'll have in God's forever!

This encourages me mostly because I can see the hand of the Holy Spirit on and around me a lot lately. For example, yesterday morning in prayer I was so caught up in communicating with the Spirit that I didn't realize I spent my whole morning (before work) already. I just kept praying and listening, feeling the calm sense of His joy. For another example, Natasha and I were eating dinner the other night when the Holy Spirit guided our conversation to affirm some reservations I had about a particular ministry opportunity. He opened our eyes to see exactly what we'd face if we moved in that direction. His presence is all around us, guiding our thoughts, our hearts, our spirits, our everything. And this is only one small glimpse! What are some examples you can give us?

Dear Mrs. Rev. Benson

Please scroll down and read my other post; it's much more "me" today.

I'm taking a break in my blogging practices to respond to Mrs. Rev. Benson. She asked why Natasha and I make the food choices we do. I'll answer that in a second. Check this out periodically for some of our ideas.

Kristi, our lifestyle changed over a year ago before we began understanding what was wrong with Natasha's health. She had gone into the hospital with more pain than ever and strange rashes. She had already tried eliminating some wheat and dairy, but it seemed as though not much was helping. The doctors had no answers, but they gave her Tylenol 3. BIG mistake. She had an allergic reaction before I went to work one morning that resulted in her passing out, turning gray, and remaining unconscious for over 1 minute!

Once that was under control, we started looking into many more options. We came across a naturopath who helped us understand the origin of several of Natasha's pains. It turns out that many of us are putting garbage into our systems that ultimately result in problems. The "garbage" isn't necessarily junk food (though that's a large culprit). It's actually a combination of many chemicals and food combinations that aren't good. Add to that the human body's need for enzymes - a naturally produced digestive chemical in the body. Humans have a storehouse of enzymes, which many of us in North America use up over time. Enzymes are found naturally in vegetables and raw meat. Who eats raw meat - aside from sushi? How many of us eat vegetables (NOT potatoes, corn, etc., which are all STARCHES!!!) - especially the dark, leafy green ones? So, here we are - people who like to eat lots of chemicals (MSG), junk food, weird food combinations (proteins and starches, for example - very bad - down with steak and potatoes!!!), and heavy doses of starches (pasta, bread, potatoes, corn, etc.) without supplementing our bodies with enzymes to break it all down.

That sounded nerdy, and it was. The result of what I just wrote about, though, is body malfunction. For some people it means acid reflux (which Natasha used to have). It can be as extreme as something like fibromyalgia (which she also had). It's also common for people to have irritable bowel syndrome, excessive gassiness, and nausea symptoms (these are much more common).

The point? The naturopath listened to Natasha spill about her body for over two hours. Then he empowered us. It turns out that he and his wife had prayed for a solution to his wife's fibromyalgia and stumbled across dietary issues. He was a doctor, and doctors (at least in Canada) are strongly encouraged NOT to follow naturopathy because it hurts the pharmaceutical companies (who are giving chemicals with side-effects that they'll have to prescribe other medicine to cure, all to the result of a crazy pharmaceutical cycle). He did not continue practicing as a licensed doctor so that he could actually help people. He does reflexology and hydrocolonics, but we have benefitted as a family from his advice in dietary lifestyle. It's not a cure, but getting one's eating lifestyle back on track is important for all of us.

At first, we were hardcore. We did NO wheat (or anything glutenous), NO sugar, NO dairy, and NO red meat. As Natasha's body came around we began introducing grains, raw honey, 100% pure maple syrup, yogurt (and similar mild dairy), and the like. We still eat red meat sparsely; it's difficult to digest. We also avoid regular wheat products. We don't eat much sugar (not counting what we ate at Rev. Benson's and Mrs. Rev. Benson's ordination shindig). We choose things that have few ingredients. If we can't identify several things in an ingredient list, we know it didn't grow that way, so we avoid it.

We came to the point over time in which we realized that the Lord was answering a prayer we had prayed for years. We wanted Natasha's health under control, but He wasn't giving a huge sign from the sky. Instead, He empowered us with a lifestyle that had shown remarkable improvement in Natasha's health, and I couldn't believe how much better I felt! Instead of a flash healing, He empowered us with a gradual solution that we'll keep over time. Without what we know now, a miraculous healing would have been undone with poor habits in another 20 years, right?

So, now you know (if you read this whole thing). It seems impossible, but we love to eat and love cooking. Start with chicken, fish, fruit, and vegetables, and see where that takes you. If you want to know more, you know where we are.

One of My Favorites

One of my favorite passages of Scripture is the powerful experience recorded in 2 Chr 5:13-14. After months (even years) of preparation, the Temple was ready. The priests were assembled, and the musicians went wild in their praise before God. What was God's response? HE DESCENDED INTO THE TEMPLE IN A CLOUD OF HIS PRESENCE!! That's right; He literally mad eHimself manifest before all the worshipers gathered in Jerusalem that day. The site that had previously been one of turmoil (when David fell in contrition before the angel of the Lord on Araunah's threshing floor) was now one of great joy, ecstasy, humility, awe, wonder, fear, and any other emotion you might be able to think of. Praise Him!

I sat in my chair this morning praying, "God, could that be true in me? Could you sweep into this temple in such manifest presence?" After all, our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, so why not? I've been in preparation for days, weeks, months, and years to be the temple I am right now. I plan on continuing that preparation until God makes me a glorified temple for Himself in Heaven. Still, I long for the Lord's presence to descend on me - not just part of me, but all of me. Not just in me, but on me, around me, beneath me, above me, beside me, taking me over. I want my present filling of the Holy Spirit to grow and increase, shrouding me in a cloud of the Father's presence, reforming me into the type of a Holy Spirit baptism that submerges me into depths unknown in the Lord. I pray believing that is happening now, believing that the feeling I have is an indicator of things I may not able to write about coherently. Bless the Lord!! (And pray for me.)

Overcoming

The "secret" - if there is one - to overcoming sinful desires and thoughts has very little to do with controlling oneself through self-discipline. I'm fully aware of what that sounds like, but our biblical instruction points to something much better than self-discipline. It points to full salvation. I'm using the word full because I agree with Bud Bence, who remarks that Christians tend to make salvation too small. We tend to look at it as a one-time deal, something that happened back when we prayed somewhere, something we have to live up to. In reality, salvation is a daily reality that makes us dead to sin and alive to God. "Sin is no longer [our] master" (Rom 6:14) because God is. That's why we don't need to make a series of rules and regulations about not sinning, as if we were still subject to human rules and regulations. (I'm sure we've all experienced the futility of overcoming sin with human rules and regulations.) The "secret" is actually to "use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God" (Rom 6:13). Our bodies are weak, but our God is willing and able to handle the sin that used to control us. We submit ourselves to Him, seeking intimacy with Him, and He shows us "the way of life, granting [us] the joy of [His] presence and the pleasures of living with [Him] forever" (Psalm 16:11)!

Helpless

We are completely helpless. We can come up with our absolute best plans for a good life, success, influence, money, and many other things. Even those of us with the best plans are still helpless. We strive for things like success and money, but neither of those things last. We strive for things like influence, but we constantly wonder if that will come and, if so, how long that will last. We strive for a good life, but many of us lay in bed at night wondering when the other shoe is going to drop.

It doesn't have to be this way. It seems like it does simply because it always has been this way, for most of us. We all have our shortcomings, our sputters, our "infirmities," or even our "sins." No one has ever been able to beat it since Adam, the first human.

Insert Romans 5, one of the most relieving passages of Scripture ever! The passage reminds us that we don't have to overcome our shortcomings, et al. We don't have to strive for a good life. That's already been done for us. Jesus Christ bridged the gap between God's infinite goodness and humanity's pointless strivings. Though Adam brought death onto humanity, Christ conquered death and offers that opportunity to us, too! Instead of striving for a good life made up of many fleeting things (like money, etc.), we can live forever with our Creator, the one who loves us enough to send His Son (Jesus) to people who are too helpless to love Him back if we tried.

Today His praise is on my lips for helping the helpless! Along with David in 1 Chr 29, "My You be praised forever and ever! Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is Yours, O Lord, and this is Your kingdom. We adore You as the one who is over all things. Wealth and honor come from You alone, for You rule over everything. Power and might are in Your hand, and at Your discretion people are made great and given strength. O our God, we thank You and praise Your glorious name!" (To read all of David's - and my - prayer, see 1 Chr 29:10-19.)

Without Reason

Paul continues the story of Abraham in Romans 4, giving expression to the great measure of faith found in the Jewish forefather. I've written about Abraham and faith on a few occasions on this blog, too. He was just an outstanding example, as any of us can tell. It's his faith without reason that prompts this particular post.

I am a "thinker" raised by a dominant "thinker" dad. I've had a lot of exposure to other "thinkers" who have discipled me in the Christian faith. It comes as no surprise to anyone, then, that I value a thoughtful faith. As David Higle once put it, "You can't separate your spirit from your mind."

This isn't the whole picture, though. Along with human spirits and minds come our emotions, wills, and bodies. While this Aristotelian separation helps us understand the many facets of our relationship to the Lord, this approach has led to extremes in our understanding of the Lord. For example, we thinkers tend to emphasize reason, always thinking through the astounding logic of God. Unfortunately, we are afraid and/or oppose any part of God that cannot be explained and that does not fit into our nice thoughtful God-packages.

Paul writes in Rom 4:18 that Abraham's faith did not waver even when there was no reason for it. In that, his faith glorified God. While I agree with Rev. Higle on the futility of separating faith and reason, I can only echo his sentiments in terms of emotion, will, and body. Our faith cannot (and should not) be separated from our emotions. It cannot (and should not) be separated from our wills. It cannot (and should not) be separated from our bodies. A faith that can truly be called Christian is characterized by a love for the Lord that comes from our minds, wills, emotions, spirits, and bodies simultaneously. Each aspect may connect better with various aspects of God; as God cannot be truly described without the mesh of all His aspects, so our faith and worship cannot truly be faith and worship without the mesh of our entire being.

In other words, unreasonable faith is okay.

What Is It?

What is it about people? I'm a people person - love people. Even still, what is it about people that tests my patience (or your patience, or whoever's patience)? Life in a community has so many positive things to offer, but our inability to approach one another on common ground quickly becomes frustrating at times. This morning I've considered people who encourage my pursuit of God. Then I started thinking about some other people with whom I have unresolved issues (like my car insurance provider). How quickly I went from peacefully rejoicing in the Lord to a sense of near annoyance!

You know, the problem isn't people; the problem is me. I make remarks or take actions that are best from my perspective. Another person in their perspective wants another set of actions. Instead of adopting the mind of Christ to serve, love, and seek reconciliary understanding, I assume I'm in the right and plug ahead, annoyed. My annoyance, whether justified or not, is pointing out my own selfishness this morning. May this be a day in which I see a fresh side of the Lord to humble my selfish attitude!

Through Faith

It is through faith that a righteous person has life (Rom 1:17). This statement comes right after the famous verse, "I am not ashamed of the Gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation...." Faith in that Gospel, faith in that power of salvation, faith in the One behind what we believe. That is what brings life.

Look around our churches and Christian groups for a moment. How many of these groups are full of life? How many of the groups are full of people with life? The church in which I have membership has many people with life. It also has many people who seem to have life on the outside. The pastor tries his best to keep a positive mental attitude and to encourage the congregation to do the same. One churhc in which he grew up (or the first one he pastored - can't remember) was "dead." He must have vowed never to have that, so he expends a lot of energy trying to bring life to the church. He does this through music, through big programs, through outreach, through uniquely designed services, and through his broad mission statement. At the end of the day, only those with faith in the church are really alive. The pastor's life doesn't come through any positive attitude, an outgoing personality, or another program. (He and his staff are likely working very hard at deepening their faith and the faith of those who come through their doors!)

Are you and I giving into a temptation to find life in a positive "Christian" attitude? What about exciting "Christian" programs/works? Or, at the end of the day, are our minds free from the questions that make us wonder if all that attitude and works amount to anything?

Those Who Search

Psalm 9 indicates that the Lord won't abandon those people who search for Him. This is an exciting promise! Many of us understand the spiritual condition in which we find ourselves during that search. The more we search for the Lord, the more we realize our need for Him. The closer to Him that we draw, the more visible our shortcomings become. (His light shines on us, and darkness cannot hide from the light.) Sometimes we even hit that point in our search when we start to wonder if it's worth it; we have too much baggage, after all! It's much more comfortable to say, "I'm a Christian," and live with that statement. Living with that statement keeps us in the "big picture" spiritually, but we don't have to face some spiritual roots that need pulled out of our lives. Facing those roots generally exposes the fear of abandonment. Not to worry - as the verse says, God will not abandon those who search for Him. Instead, when we seek Him we'll find Him. And what better place to have our dark roots exposed than in a place with the only One who can do something about it?

Read it

This is an interesting post, most particularly the last statement.

Paradox

Sometimes I think if there's a word to sum up God, that word would be "paradox." I know that even "paradox" isn't adequate, but there are so many paradoces in God's nature that make Him more beautiful than we otherwise would have imagined.

Psalm 8 exposes some of those paradoces. For example, verse one lauds His majestic name, ascribing glory to Him that fills the earth and reaches beyond the highest heavens. Though God is so lofty and high, He also teaches young children and infants about Himself (verse two). It is the testimony of the young ones who silence God's vicious enemies! The paradox: The ever-high and glorious God whom I cannot describe adequately teaches young children and infants the simplicity of who He is.


God made everything we see in creation, but the psalmist highlights the celestial objects in verse three. The Lord created the moon and a universe full of stars. The handiwork of His fingers is responsible for the overwhelming peace there is in sitting in a field and staring up at the midnight-blue sky full of constellations, nebulae, galaxy bands, the moon, meteors, and the rest. God also created humans and spends a lot of time thinking about and caring for mortal people, whose creations cannot replicate God's work. Humans are much lower than the magnificent God, but He crowns us with honor (verse five) and put us in charge of everything else in all creation (verses six through eight). The paradox: God, who created and rules over everything, humbly loves humanity and gives us authority and responsibility over a creation we couldn't hold together on our own if we tried.

What are some paradoces you've encountered in your walk with God?

Finding a Wife

I have avoided allowing this blog to be "mine" for several weeks now. There hasn't been much personal expression aside from my responses to the Lord. This morning, though, we'll get a little of both.

Proverbs 18:22 was part of today's reading. It says, "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord." Guess what I thought of right away? Yes, my wife. Natasha is certainly a treasure, and she may be very embarrassed that I'm writing this. Too bad; she didn't mind any other spiritual reflection, so she can bear with this one.

If anything expresses the favor I've found with the Lord, it's the wife with whom He blessed me. Natasha is a treasure, and I tell her that. You could start with the fact that her eyes sparkle like light sapphires or that her hair looks and feels like silk. That would be selling her short, though. The way her smile can warm up an entire room and her voice can bring calm into a tense situation only scratches the part of her surface that I can write about here.

1) I've never met anyone like Natasha who so earnestly longs to love the lord and please Him. She constantly brings herself before Him in prayer, always ready to grow or move if God says so. He refines her like precious silver.

2) I've never met anyone like Natasha who genuinely loves so many people. She even loves those uncomfortable people that no one knows how to treat! God has given her a heart of gold.

3) Elsewhere in Proverbs the author states that a good wife is her husband's crown. In other words, a good wife is what makes a husband most proud. I am always very proud to take Natasha out, whether it's on a date, to the church, or just to be out. I feel like a better person when she's around.

4) Natasha cultivates peace around her. I'm a person who could stay out without going home for hours if I'm on my own. (In fact, when Natasha travels I enjoy finding things to do so I'm not home alone.) However, since I've been married I look forward to coming home and sitting down with my wife. God has clothed her with a garment of peace.

5) Natasha has been given more beauty than I can understand. In the middle of this posting she came in to make sure her dress was modest. She looks beautiful in the dress, but she's also concerned about how she's presenting herself as a daughter of the King. She realizes that true beauty comes from within and chooses, therefore, not to misuse clothing to grab people's attention or to create a false sense of beauty. Instead, she prays for a modest presence that is clothed with fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

6) She sings all the time. Usually she sings her praise to the Lord in a way that I know the Holy Spirit is sitting with us in the living room. (Actually, the Holy Spirit is her best friend - they do tea.)

7) Natasha wears a crown of wisdom. She's human, so she doesn't think perfectly. However, I am positive that I can count on one hand the times she has made a mistake or has been flat out incorrect. It's because she processes everything in wisdom and prayer. She brings me back down to earth but remains excited when she knows something good is about to happen.

8) The Lord and Natasha have a fabulous relationship. I alluded to it above, but I'm serious. She loves Him so much, and He constantly pursues her with His love, grace, mercy, presence, peace, wisdom, power, goodness, faithfulness, teaching, blessings, corrections, etc., etc., etc. I've even asked before how it is that I could be yoked to her. The Lord always answers, "Because I'm gracious and pursue you both." That's good stuff!

9) Natasha is pure. (That's strong, but it's true. I'm not going to make it cloudy by trying to expound on something so obvious.)

10) Natasha is refreshing. Spending an hour with her will leave almost anyone feeling as though they have value and worth they didn't understand. Her innocence and wisdom team up to communicate God's truth and her inner beauty every day. She makes people feel comfortable most of the time. Her insights empower others to sing a lifesong to empower others. She's just plain fun, too. Her great sense of humor in this mix is just as refreshing as her depth. Incredible!

Imagine, all this from Proverbs 18:22! It's amazing to reflect on the favor I've found in the Lord through my fabulous wife. There's more to say, as I'm finding every day. I'm still learning about her and will likely be able to build on this in the future. (Proverbs 31 will come at some point, so maybe the Lord will prompt me for something like this again.) A quick note to my cherished beloved: Natasha, remember that this post is a reflection on Proverbs 18:22. I assume, then, that you're not going to try and turn this around to try and make this about me. I love you!